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Before he played Jerry Gergich on "Parks and Recreation," he read "pig reports" on the radio.
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It's not all bad news. Adam's son wants to become a doctor; mostly so he can see people naked.
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As if that name wasn't cool enough, they've got an awesome tiger who is so rad he wears shades.
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Nick Offerman (aka Ron Swanson) reads some tweets from Hollywood's hottest young starlettes.
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CONAN Highlight: Aubrey brings up a good point: where DO you hang a giant naked portrait of yourself?
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While Joe Biden's back was turned, Aubrey boosted a very sensitive cheat-sheet.
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But after playing a Navy SEAL, Chris packed on major weight to play a fat sad sack lawyer.
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He'd amp himself up every morning by chanting "Fantastic! Terrific! Great! Juice, juice, juice! Oh yeah!!"
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His secret to becoming objectified manflesh? Bacon grease & plentiful nipples...
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He offers Conan & Andy some little hand-whittled Christmas gifts.