100 Things That Will Not Exist In 1,000 Years

1. Information 2. Organized 3. Numerically

100 Things That Will Not Exist In 1,000 Years

A recent statistical study predicts that the Japanese people will face extinction by the year 3011. Researchers at Tohoku University calculated current birthrate trends and concluded that the very distant future is childless for the ancient island nation.

This bleak warning is more than sensationalistic junk science intended to scare Japanese citizens into breeding more. It is an opportunity to also freak out about what else will cease to be a millennium from right now. If so-called scientists can make hysterical predictions about the future, then so can we.

1. Thumbs
   
   
2. Dolphins
   
   
3. New Jersey
   
   
4. Toaster Ovens
   
   
5. “Dancing With The Stars”
   
   
6. Dinosaurs (Again)
   
   
7. Fedoras
   
   
8. Mouth breathers
   
   
9. Landscape Oil Paintings
   
   
10. Grandma
    
    
11. QWERTY keyboards
    
    
12. Pugs
    
    
13. That Guy At The DMV Who Smells Like Maalox
    
    
14. Lower Back Tattoos Of Butterflies
    
    
15. Margaritas
    
    
16. Enemas
    
    
17. Constitutional Republics
    
    
18. Improv Comedy
    
    
19. Weight Watchers
    
    
20. Non-mutant Cockroaches
    
    
21. Tartar Sauce
    
    
22. Valet Parking
    
    
23. Handlebar Moustaches
    
    
24. Yankees Fans
    
    
25. $25 Checked Bag Fees
    
    
26. Yoga
    
    
27. Vampire Movies
    
    
28. Arizona
    
    
29. Dating
    
    
30. Chocoholism
    
    
31. Hedge Fund Managers
    
    
32. Fuchsia
    
    
33. Toilet Paper
    
    
34. “Toddlers & Tiaras”
    
    
35. iPads
    
    
36. Bullets
    
    
37. Laser Bullets
    
    
38. Statistics
    
    
39. High-Fives
    
    
40. Smooth Jazz
    
    
41. Talking Bears
    
    
42. Dental Floss
    
    
43. Bagel pizzas
    
    
44. Holograms
    
    
45. Instagram
    
    
46. Zombie Penguins
    
    
47. Prom Dresses
    
    
48. Keynesian Economics
    
    
49. Dubstep
    
    
50. Mimes
    
    
51. Sloths
    
    
52. Gruyere Cheese
    
    
53. Jetpacks
    
    
54. Ukuleles
    
    
55. Cirrocumulus Clouds
    
    
56. Diarrhea
    
    
57. The letter “J”
    
    
58. NASCAR
    
    
59. Vitamin B-12
    
    
60. Hot Tubs
    
    
61. Mandatory Retinal Advertisement Implants
    
    
62. Broadway
    
    
63. Cashews
    
    
64. Vacuum Cleaners
    
    
65. Eye Contact During Sex
    
    
66. Passwords
    
    
67. Blogs
    
    
68. Cactuses
    
    
69. Bellybuttons
    
    
70. Antarctica
    
    
71. Kilts
    
    
72. Thunderdome
    
    
73. Zippers
    
    
74. Rainbows
    
    
75. Lean Cuisine Frozen Dinners
    
    
76. Segways
    
    
77. Mega Trillions
    
    
78. Male Pattern Baldness
    
    
79. Flamethrowers
    
    
80. Personal memoirs
    
    
81. Thongs
    
    
82. The United Federation Of Planets
    
    
83. Unicycles
    
    
84. Krumping
    
    
85. Yellow bananas
    
    
86. Olympic Curling
    
    
87. Free Wifi
    
    
88. Mandals
    
    
89. Secrets
    
    
90. Cable Television
    
    
91. Hoverboards
    
    
92. Bacon
    
    
93. Insomnia
    
    
94. College Debt
    
    
95. Cigarettes
    
    
96. Candles that smell like food
    
    
97. Golf
    
    
98. Tuna Sashimi
    
    
99. The Moon
    
    
100. All your Pinterest Boards
     
     What are you absolutely certain won't be around in 1,000 years? Let us know in the comments, or tweet @TeamCoco with the hashtag #1000YearsFromNow!