1. ADOWABLE CWITTEW NEWS: Ultra-Giant Kitty Edition

ADOWABLE CWITTEW NEWS: Ultra-Giant Kitty Edition

John DeVore

All The News That’s Fit To Awwwwww…

The internets are for TWO things and two things only: puppies, kitties and other puffballs! If you like to OMGSOOOCUTE, then you’re going to HEART all of these supew-cuddily links! TEE-HEE!

  • 40-Pound Kitty-Cat Is One Morbidly Obese Meow-Meow!
    This is a lot of feline! (More to snuggle.) The Santa Fe animal shelter where Brando Cat currently lives will be putting him on a special diet that includes smaller cats. [HLNTV.com]

  • Koala Gives Chlamydia-Laced Golden Shower To Hunky Young Boy Band
    Teenage heartthrobs One Direction are afraid they might have caught an STD after being piddled on by a koala bear, which sounds like a totally viable excuse for where that burning came from! [CourierMail.com]

  • Vasectomized Chimpanzee Refuses To Shoot Blanks!
    This miracle monkey (named CONAN!) is the proud papa of a baby, even though the pimpin’ chimp’s tubes have been snipped. Twice! That's some strong spermies! [NECN.com]

  • Sexless Lady Pandas Are Saving It For Marriage!
    A new study finds that female pandas are only in the mood for baby panda-making for 24-72 hours a year, and only if the male pandas roar dirty first. [Discovery.com]

  • Precious Pig-Puppy Eats Little Boy’s Face!
    When animal control wonders why this English Bulldog had a taste for human flesh, they’ll watch this video of the mad-dog as a wee pup attempting to snack on some kids nose. [CuteOverload.com]

  • Gambian Rats Invade Florida Keys!
    The Sunshine State is infested with giant African rats that grow to the size of an average housecat! Which means it’s a fair fight! [PetSide.com]

  • Rabid Bear Attacks Old Farm Equipment!
    This is like something out of one of those old Stephen King novels that are so funny, like that one about that St. Bernard who just wanted to be loved! [NewsPlex.com]

  • Armored Filth Fish Swim In Your Nightmares!
    A non-native species of bottom-feeding catfish are burrowing their ways into South Florida lakes and eroding shorelines. These fish have no natural predators because they’re covered in terrifying armored scales.
    [Sun-Sentinel.com]