Conan's Twitter Pictures

"Tonight I try out a new desk made of 100% @ImHeatherGraham."

"This supermarket is replaying my White House Correspondents' performance. There is nowhere else to go in showbiz."

"Just rehearsed my routine to an empty ballroom at the Washington Hilton. The one guy unfolding chairs loved it."

"Just visited the White House press room. Lost my temper and ejected the reporter from the Christian Science Monitor."

"In D.C. to perform at the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Practicing my opening 'Goofy Sunglasses' bit."

"I expected @CharlieSheen to arrive at my show in style tonight, and he did not disappoint."

"This is either a great Turner promotional scheme, or a frightening look at how we humans will evolve."

"Paul Rudd and I just did a #selfie. We're not good at this."

"As thanks for me plugging #ThisIsTheEnd, @SethRogen posed for a backstage pic of him fleeing a space zebra."

"Just went to Easter Mass in Atlanta. This woman is rocking the bonnet I was going to wear."

"Came across this photo in a civil war museum here in Atlanta. The resemblance is uncanny."

".@HBO sent me this personalized #GameOfThrones box. It's the perfect place to store my #Homeland DVDs."

"Visiting Atlanta and I dropped in on some locals."

"Delta policy is to seat all redheaded comics together."

"At MusiCares honoring Bruce Springsteen and ran into an old friend."

"My relationship with Katherine Webb is now serious. #suckitBrentMusburger"

"I've decided to renew my wedding vows wearing the bear costume from Workaholics."

"Just saw @JustinBieber's butt on Instagram. I can't believe we have the same tattoo."

"My mother just showed me my baby blanket. This explains my irrational fear of Roger Ailes."

"Just noticed this ornament on my parents' Christmas tree in Boston. It is commanding me to start shoplifting again."

"I want to get back to the true spirit of the holidays: Unbridled narcissism."

"People always ask me what's the 'secret ingredient' to my egg nog. I tell them any household accelerants will do."

"Here's the 1st official photo from the new Arrested Development on @Netflix. Spoiler alert: I'm an amazing actor."

"Tonight on my show, I do this for charity. I've just been told it's permanent."

"Leaving Dublin and this fellow is at the airport to see me off. Yes, he's a potato."

"I'm furious. I went into this store in Dublin and it was NOT what I expected."

"Just took this photo. I'm in a pre-school in Dublin."

"Just saw authentic period production of "Twelfth Night." Felt like it was 1620, until I tweeted on my iPhone."

"Could someone in England explain this newspaper cartoon?"

"My wife just found my creepy shrine to CNN's @ErinBurnett."

"My dentist just told me I have a week to live."

"I can't decide whether this massive bruise on my hip is turning into a tropical storm or a young Billy Gibbons."

"I gave @RobDelaney the keys to our @TeamCoco account. Yes, our account is unlocked with 19th Century jailer's keys."

"My brother Luke took this photo of a double rainbow. It's proof that God has his priorities straight."

"Enjoy this #CelebKamaSutra pose @RealTenaciousD and I created called "Sexual Barnacles"."

"I hope @RealTenaciousD didn't pull a muscle with the #CelebKamaSutra pose I call "Foot Penis"."

"My #CelebKamaSutra continues with @RealTenaciousD. This pose is called "Jack's Surprise"."

"Day 2 of #CelebKamaSutra. @RealTenaciousD and I call this pose "The Dirty Angel."

".@RealTenaciousD and I have created a #CelebKamaSutra. This first pose is called "Jealous Whisper"."

"This freckle looks like @CarlyRaeJepsen driving an '89 Dodge Shadow convertible."

"Dermatologists refer to this freckle as a 'Chicken Weathervane'."

"This is my freckle that looks like the head of a "My Little Pony"."

"Met this celeb at a Malibu taco joint and am now part of his Bro posse. Guess who spends more time at the beach?"

"Breaking Bad star Bryan Cranston is unimpressed with my meth making ability."

"This guy’s at my door. Should I open it? Hate to judge people."

"A friend in New York saw this in a Chinatown restaurant."

"Every little child loves to cuddle up with Bane, the psychotic, venom fueled nemesis of Batman."

"I'm at the Cubs/Red Sox game at Wrigley. Boston is losing, so I've gone into the Witness Protection Program."

"Adam Sandler (@HappyMadison) and I have a good cry before tonight's show. Tears make us strong."

"Blogger @dwstepanic claims the skyline in my #Chicoco ads is all wrong. I don't see the problem."

"Big Bang's Johnny Galecki and I point out our favorite piece of KD Lang Chicago Theater graffiti."

"Chicago: My work here is done."

"Andy Samberg (@thelonelyisland) is on my show tonight. Hopefully this photo captures our sexual tension. #CHICOCO"

"Saw this in a Walgreens near the Chicago Theatre. It's a perfect depiction of me after 6 bottles of Jameson."

"Jack McBrayer's on my 1st Chicago show. This is right after I showed him what indoor plumbing looks like."

"Took a photo with Instagram's 'Egomaniac' filter."

"I've arrived at the historic Chicago Theater for a week of shows, & brought along my American Girl Doll collection."

"This week's @NewYorker cover is exactly what I saw the last time I did bath salts."

"Just stopped at this diner in Upstate New York. I had the Special: Soup, Sandwich, and A Curse on the White Devil."

"Backstage at #Conan, Tracy Morgan & I fight about if Greece's debt-to-GDP ratio is causing the Euro-Zone Recession."

"Tonight on #Conan, @MettaWorldPeace and I have a civilized interview. And then one of us smashes Andy in the face."

"This is my actual PIN number."

"Tonight on Conan, Jack Black and I fight to the death. Or chat about his latest project. Check it out."

"Ron Burgundy makes an incredible announcement on my show tonight."

"What I see every day at rehearsal."

"Excited about my new Guinness Nikes. These are so much nicer than my Jose Cuervo Crocs."

"Sure am glad I turned down that Nike endorsement deal."

"After my daily workout, I like to "Sweatbomb" my assistant."

"Lunch: Sunflower seeds, an entire jar of kosher pickles, and Valentine's candy stolen from my daughter's room."

"Lunch Today: turkey with sun-dried tomatoes. To drink, a can of Campbells mushroom soup from the 1970's."

"Valentine's Day dinner with my Executive Producer, Jeff Ross. Love at last!!"

"In honor of Valentine's Day, I'm having a small chicken burrito and an apple. Start your sex engines!"

"Today's lunch: Turkey patty, garlic broccolini, and roasted veggies. Not pictured: Boston cream pie with mayo."

"My new poster just arrived. OTH 4 eva!"

"Walking in Seattle on Christmas eve and saw this. Glad to see the story of Christ's birth is being told."

"Checked into my D.C. hotel and found this Washington Monument cookie. At least I hope to God that's what it is."

"Should I be concerned that my office at "Conan" is getting smaller?"

"On my way to work, this sign inspired me to anonymously do good. And then tweet about it to 4.4 million people."

"Men's room sign: either wash your hands with foam, or that poor bastard is missing a big chunk of his right hand."

"Back home in Brookline, MA and I visited my 4th grade classroom. This is where I became the jock I am today."

"Eating alone in an Italian restaurant and this is on the table. I think I'll use my vermicelli to make him a thong."

"Just realized what this means on my NY taxi meter: my cab driver is foreign."

"Leaving NY. Does the E Train stop in LA?"

"Triumph is on the show tonight. I am very worried."

"This is my New York pre-show ritual: stealing a longshoreman's hat and getting drunk in the back of a truck"

"The coffee at this place is awful. It's clear and tastes like hot dogs." - @ConanOBrien

"These are our show offices in New York. Either that, or I'm running for Congress." - @ConanOBrien

"In D.C to see Will Ferrell get the Mark Twain Award and I found this cookie in my room. It terrifies me." - @ConanOBrie

"Finally found the world's largest Frying Pan. My life no longer has purpose." - @ConanOBrien

"Just tried to donate to the Gates Foundation. Curiously, they refused to accept my '92 Ford Taurus." - @ConanOBrien

"Today my assistant is retaliating by doing an impression of MY father." - @ConanOBrien

"My assistant is furious because I'm pretending to be her father with my ingenious homemade costume." - Conan O'Brien

"On my way back from Dartmouth Commencement." - Conan

"A rare and exciting behind-the-scenes look at the making of the previous twitpic." - Conan

"Move over Weinergate. This may or may not be a shot of my foot in a sock" - Conan

Visiting my boyhood home & found my old drum kit. No drummer I've ever talked to has heard of a "Cortley."

"I just explained to my beard what may happen Monday. I didn't know hair could scream."

"Andy got me this for my birthday. How do I tell him my mom got me the same thing?" - Conan

"I tell people I split my lip in a fight. It's really because I went skiing without my Vanilla Bonne Bell gloss. " - Conan

"Found this in my yard this morning. Anyone know what it is? Should I not have put it in my pants? Help."   - Conan

"My staff tells me my new hat has made me mad with power. I disagree."

"New year, new tradition: after every show, I’m celebrating with a bottle of 7-11 Brand Cherrywood Cab."

"Too much to drink after the People's Choice Awards. I just found the trophy."

"If you doubt we have screwed up the Earth, check out my hotel view. Note: I am in Puerto Rico."

"I'm in Seattle, all Xmas decorations include Jimi Hendrix."

Waiting at the airport and guarding my daughter's luggage. At least I tell people it's my daughter's luggage:

McDonald's sent 50 McRibs to our office. I left two for my staff:

Now that you know the name of my new show, I'd like you to please welcome our very first sponsor: Utz Pub Mix

I came into my office today and Andy had hung this over my desk. He apparently has a lot of them.

My new bathroom at TBS has two railings around the toilet. Those idiots - I asked for four.

Rest assured, I'm hard at work on the new studio.