On one hand, but then again, on the other...
Arizona is so wacky these days, even Florida is all "What is going ON over there?" It seems like ever since the Grand Canyon State's beloved son John McCain ran for President in 2008, Arizona's been producing a steady stream of headlines about people, laws, and politicians all driven crazy by the heat. Here's what we like & dislike about the 48th state...
LIKE: The beautiful year round sunshine!
DISLIKE: Getting pulled over for being “too tan.”
LIKE: The donkey tours of the Grand Canyon!
DISLIKE: Slathering Preparation H on your saddle sores after 8 hours on a flea-bitten ass.
LIKE: The sexy coeds enrolled in the state’s various schools of higher education.
DISLIKE: The sexy hoarders enrolled at the University of Phoenix.
LIKE: Appreciating authentic Navajo Native American culture.
DISLIKE: The Phoenix Urban Outfitters charges a fortune for those Chinese-made ponchos!
LIKE: Being able to enjoy your swimming pool at night due to the intense desert heat!
DISLIKE: Being able to boil instant rice in your swimming pool during the day due to the intense desert heat!
LIKE: All those adorable retirees enjoying their golden years.
DISLIKE: Dodging foul-mouthed oldsters in scooters.
LIKE: The Arizona government is finally cracking down on illegal aliens!
DISLIKE: Border police shooting at Sand People peacefully riding their Banthas.
LIKE: Knowing you’re in safe hands with John McCain.
DISLIKE: Realizing that John McCain isn’t that guy from the "Die Hard" movies.
LIKE: Arizona in the winter is like Florida in the summer, without the awful humidity.
DISLIKE: Being slowly dehydrated into a parched, leathery mummy.
LIKE: When you're out in nature, there are no swarms of annoying mosquitos.
DISLIKE: When you're out in nature, there are swarms of rattlesnakes, scorpions, and golf balls sliced by half-blind retirees in plaid slacks.
LIKE: Governor Jan Brewer is one sassy, opinionated lady!
DISLIKE: There's nothing to dislike! Nothing! Not if you know what's good for you!
LIKE: The economy is booming!
DISLIKE: The economy is only booming if you’re changing adult diapers, withering in a warehouse-sized call center or selling crystal meth.
LIKE: The state produced Stephanie Meyer, the author of the “Twilight” books.
DISLIKE: The “Twilight” books glorify Satanic, mopey vampires who dry-hump teenage girls with low self-esteem.
LIKE: You can check out a real-life rodeo!
DISLIKE: Rodeo is basically just all-beef NASCAR.
LIKE: The official necktie of Arizona is the bolia or “bolo” tie!
DISLIKE: Watching your neighbor with the handlebar moustache wash his windowless van while wearing nothing but a bolo tie.
LIKE: The famous Saguaro Cactus is a unique symbol of the American Southwest.
DISLIKE: Unlike trees, cacti are just waxy, angry-looking phalli covered in needles.