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Likes & Dislikes: Online Dating


On one hand, but then again, on the other...

In olden days, singles would find each other at bars. Welcome to the future: relationships are forged in dating site databases full of lonely hearts. Here's what we like and dislike about our new robot matchmakers.

LIKE: Meeting people in the comfort of one's own home, instead of a smelly bar.
DISLIKE: Finding out that your date smells like stale beer and urine.

LIKE: The amazing variety of people you encounter.
DISLIKE: Searching through thousands of desperate singles is like choking back a pint glass of garlic salt.

LIKE: You can meet people exactly like you!
DISLIKE: Why not just masturbate, then cry yourself to sleep?

LIKE: Looking for "attractive," "easy going," and "educated"
DISLIKE: Discovering that means "no chin," "rage issues," and "dumb as a jar of Cheez Whiz."

LIKE: Your profile pic is so hot.
DISLIKE: It was taken ten years ago, before your addiction to extreme facial piercings.

LIKE: Searching for singles with quirky hobbies, like playing the ukulele.
DISLIKE: Finding out the ukulele is strung with human pubic hair.

LIKE: You can finally meet a fellow "foodie."
DISLIKE: "Foodie" is just another word for "Sexless Carb Hoover."

LIKE: Being able to present the best possible "you" to new people.
DISLIKE: You're lying, and after a couple drinks, you revert to talking like a hillbilly.

LIKE: This person loves the great HBO drama "The Wire," just like you!
DISLIKE: Neither of you have ever actually made it through a single episode.

LIKE: The Internet is where shy, awkward romantic nerds can have confidence.
DISLIKE: The confidence anonymity bestows means everyone is a churlish, superficial tyrant.

LIKE: You can reject people without feeling guilty.
DISLIKE: People not only reject you without feeling guilty, they email you "LOL".

LIKE: Finally - meeting someone seeking a mature, long-term relationship seems possible!
DISLIKE: Downward spirals of self-loathing after seemingly consequence-free sex with total strangers is just a lot easier.

Got any others? Drop 'em in the comments...