1. The Terrible 20: Sarah Palin History Lessons

The Terrible 20: Sarah Palin History Lessons

JoshSimpson
Sarah Palin Former Governor Sarah Palin recently gave an extremely illuminating account of Paul Revere's famous midnight ride. Well, as it turns out, Sarah "Barracuda" has lots more important history lessons to share. Our crackerjack researchers found 10 and listed them below, but we're looking for 10 more! Leave your Sarah Palin History Lessons in the comments below or tweet them to @TeamCoco with the hashtag #PalinHistory. We'll pick our favorites and fill out the list.

[Update: The list is now complete! Thank you to everyone who contributed, we'll do it again soon!]

The Terrible 20: Sarah Palin History Lessons

  1. George Washington chopped down a cherry tree to whittle himself a pair of new dentures.
  2. James Garfield is best remembered for popularizing naps and lasagna.
  3. Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address was 4520 Jackson St., Gettysburg, PA 17325
  4. The Roaring 20s marked a dark period in US History when lions roamed the streets.
  5. The Great Depression could have been averted if Dr. Prozac had invented his famous pills earlier.
  6. The Louisiana Purchase was the first time a woman accepted a strand of plastic beads in exchange for exposing her breasts.
  7. The Underground Railroad is what they call subways in England.
  8. Watergate is Washington D.C.’s largest water park, the deep throat is its steepest slide.
  9. The Pilgrims had to flee England to freely practice their religion of teaching Injuns to plant corn.
  10. The Boston Tea Party was thrown by a refreshingly fearless patriot named Jebediah Snapple.
  11. Eli Whitney brewed the first cotton gin in his bathtub during Prohibition. - @bkujala
  12. The New Deal introduced America to a burger and fries bought together. - William Fonvielle
  13. Paul Bunyan was America's pioneer orthopedic doctor. – Lou Rosen
  14. The Trail of Tears was ended when the brothers Johnson perfected their baby shampoo formula. - Damian Wiesbach-Leach
  15. FDR was in a wheelchair because he fell off his horse playing polio - @DiMedio3
  16. Mt. Rushmore features the Presidents who ran the fastest. – Will Choy
  17. Davey Crockett went to the Alamo to help drive out the Mexican immigrants. His partner, Tubbs, remained in Miami. - William J Hammon
  18. NATO is the head chef at the Wasilla Benihana. - @jencordery
  19. Abraham Lincoln was assassinated while driving his Ford to the theatre. - @itsmattparrish
  20. Roe vs. Wade marked the first time a judge was needed to decide the best way to cross a river. - Erin Winebark