Barack Obama and Mitt Romney will debate for third and final time tonight. Tired of hackneyed and hangover-inducing debate drinking games? Then make like a REAL American -- and celebrate political verbal jousting with good old-fashioned, anxiety-relieving gluttony....The Final Presidential Debate Emotional Eating Game
- IF either candidate correctly pronounces "Mahmoud Ahmadinejad"... CHOMP A FISTFUL OF CANDY CORN.
- IF Mitt Romney asserts his commitment to "100%" of Americans... NIBBLE BELUGA CAVIAR OFF A 24-CARAT GOLD SPOON.
- IF Barack Obama says "um" or "look"... BOB FOR CROUTONS IN A MIXING BOWL OF RANCH DRESSING.
- IF Mitt Romney declares that China is our "greatest geopolitical foe"... FUNNEL A BOX OF SOGGY CAPTAIN CRUNCH.
- IF Barack Obama hints that he killed Osama Bin Laden... SUCK NUTELLA OFF YOUR FINGERS.
- IF either candidate mentions any country that ends in "stan"... SQUIRT 4 OZ. OF NACHO-FLAVORED EASY CHEESE DOWN YOUR ESOPHAGUS.
- IF either candidate panders to our "brave men and women"... CHUG A CAN OF COLD BEEFARONI.
- IF Mitt Romney pledges never to "appease" or "apologize"... WRAP YOUR QUIVERING LIPS AROUND THREE HO-HOs.
- IF either candidate says "red line" and "Iran" in the same sentence... USE A CHICKEN WING TO SCOOP UP BEN & JERRY'S ICE CREAM.
- IF "Nuclear proliferation", "Nuclear Iran", or "Nuclear North Korea" are solemnly intoned... SHOVEL A SPATULA OF SHRIMP FRIED RICE INTO YOUR MAW.
- IF Barack Obama mentions our "dependance on foreign oil"... BURY YOUR FACE IN A BAG OF FLAMIN' HOT CHEETOS.
- IF either candidate says "that's not true"... SMASH A BOUQUET OF HOT DOGS INTO YOUR FACE.
- IF candidates engage in angry crosstalk... INHALE FIVE PIZZA BAGELS OFF A SHISH KABOB.
- Got more? Drop 'em in the comments....