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The Terrible 20: Things To Be Thankful For

This Thursday, everyone will gather around a big meal and give thanks for all the good things in their life—friends, family and the like. But what are some of stupider things you’ll find yourself thankful for? Help us finish this list of twenty truly lame and ridiculous things to be thankful by leaving your suggestions in the comment section or tweeting them @TeamCoco with the hashtag #TerribleThanks.

[UPDATE: The polls have closed and The Terrible 20: Things To Be Thankful For is now complete. Let us all give thanks for all those who played along!]
  1. Lead vault crammed with black market Twinkies
  2. Gift card to Bennigan's with $4.32 still on it
  3. Ability to belch out "L'internationale"
  4. A close, personal friendship with Larry Storch from "F Troop"
  5. Superfluous third nipple
  6. I'm thankful that animals can't speak, specifically to the police or my wife.Adam Woolhouse
  7. Access to Chris Christie's gravy fountain.Ray Davis
  8. The literary insight provided by Tony Danza's teaching stint.Stanley Amadeus
  9. Tucks Medicated SandpaperSteve Van Hamme
  10. The Slap ChopShane O'Connor
  11. TMZ newsroom's insightful banter@Username3000
  12. That 30-day trial to Netscape.@thedicknavis
  13. An audiobook collection of the Twilight saga, read by Gilbert Gottfried.‏@CaptArschkarte
  14. Paula Broadwell offering to write my biography.Chuck Fresh
  15. An oversized iPad Mini.Jonas Polsky
  16. Thankful for all of the cool diseases that let me wear rubber bracelets.Chad Yarbrough
  17. Surprise discovery of half a Zagnut under the couch cushion.Sam Morris
  18. Turbo Tax '97: Kidz EditionJoey Wilson
  19. Chilled roll of toilet paper after hot wing Wednesday.Tyler Perry
  20. My vinyl collection of Nickelback's entire discography.@AaronKarcher