Clueless Gamer: "Overwatch" With Peter Dinklage & Lena Headey

May 23, 2016

CONAN Highlight: Conan does battle against House Lannister from "Game of Thrones" using the power of heavily armed gorillas & shiny lady butts.

TranscriptHey everybody. Conan O'Brien here with another clueless gamer. Today we've got a big one I'm told. The highly anticipated over watch. This is huge. This is an epic game. So I got two of the stars of the most epic show on television "game of thrones" to play with me. Please welcome my best friends as of four minutes ago, Peter and Lena. Thank you so much for being here. [applause] Conan: You guys play video games Lena: I don't but I'm ready. Conan: You, Peter? Peter: What is this for? Conan: There was only one iron throne so I took it. Low back support. This is, in fact, a toilet. Yeah. Makes it functional. This is my toilet from my home. This just broke. And, yeah. We're just ripping apart the iron throne as we go. Look at that. There you go. Yeah. This is really -- no expense was spared. These are made of star bursts. And they put some shoe polish on it. Lena This controls the toilet. Like a Japanese toilet. He can wash his butt. Peter: Oh, I love those. You walk into the bathroom and they open. You don't even have to touch anything. Lena: Creepy. Conan: You know what's creepy? I was in a hotel recently and it had that and the toilet opens every time you walk past it and every time I walked by the toilet went, maybe? I'm like no. I'm just coming in to get the dental floss. Then it closes sadly like, oh. Peter: ah, might as well. Conan: By the way, you like our set? No expense was spared. Very sexy isn't it, this room? Peter: Sexy, yes. Conan: Very sensual. Peter: Like being inside a vagina. Can we say that? Conan: No. You just did and you know what? This is gold. Come on in. Tell us about the game. >> Yes. So the game is over watch. You know -- [snoring sounds] Conan: This is why I called you in? Peter: You're great as the dad in "family ties." Conan: Take us through all of our zero possibilities. He's got the lens of like a pigeon. Lena, come to me. >> then we've got this guy junk rat. Lena: Oh, I like junk rat. Conan: Okay. He has the power of low self-esteem. Peter: Oh, yeah. Oh, lord. >> This is kind of cool. Conan: Look at that. He's on roller blades. >> Yes. Conan: His only enemy is an uneven surface. He can accomplish anything. But oh, some slate gravel in the road. I can't help you. Lena: oh, okay. I like him. Conan: Yes. Peter: He's got nice balls. Conan: Yes. M.C. hammer backup at one point. >> The idea is you guys are going to be on separate teams shooting each other trying to take an objective or defend an objective. Lena: I don't know what you said. Conan: I don't know either. Peter: Well I'm a giant gorilla with a laser camera. Lena: No wait! Peter: Oh, come on. I just laser beamed you. Conan: Okay. That happened very quickly. So Peter just killed you twice very quickly. Lena: Not me, the character. Peter: Stomp on your corpse. Conan: Yeah, yeah. Just kill him. He is getting very cocky. Lena: Yes. Conan: Yes. She killed you. I don't know why. Peter: Look at that on the platform up here. Coming at you from above there. Where are you? I know. I fell. Conan: That is just the most mundane depth. The work place accident. Where? Where? Lena: Behind you! Conan: Where? Not so easy now when someone fights back. Peter: You know, my gun can't really shoot that far. Conan: Yeah. That's what they all say. Hiding behind balsa wood shouldn't do anything. >> Good old balsa wood. Impenetrable balsa wood. Conan: For you, my lady. >> So the next place we'll play is the temple in Egypt. You guys are each going to have a team of two other people with you. Conan: What is the objective? >> The objective is there is maybe some stuff going on -- just shoot each other. Conan: Just shoot people. We're in a Moroccan restaurant why? What's happening? Peter: I have a hankering for some tahini. Conan: That bubble I'm in is called celebrity. here's Peter. I'm going to kill him. Peter: No you're not. Conan: Yes I am. Time to die. Wait. I was eliminated by Peter. Lena: What? Conan: You're out, Lena. Sorry. Lena: Why did you keep shooting me? There are four other people. Conan: This range of facial expressions. A choking victim. We'll do something very special now at my request. All the women with shiny butts are going to fight each other. Don't shoot anyone. Just enjoy their bodies. Is there a button where they make out -- can we ask that be added to the game? >> I'll ask. Peter: Listen to the high heels. Conan: I love that. Peter: Can we get that? Conan: Can we get a loop of the moaning? [moaning] There you have it right there. We just watched Peter decimate Lena in this competition. Peter, you are the winner because it's game of thrones you will now be presented with my head on a spike by our George R.R. Martin look alike. Donald.

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