1. The American Kennel Club Introduces Exciting New Dog Breeds

The American Kennel Club Introduces Exciting New Dog Breeds

We hope you're ready for the majesty of the Double-Ended Chihuahua & the Basset Hound Extreme.


CONAN: The west minister dog show is next week.
And once again the American Kennel Club is going to be introducing some new rookie breeds that have never competed before.
These are breeds a lot of people have never heard of.
Everyone who watches the dog show on Monday will get to see these brand-new breeds an it's a big surprise.
Guess what, I have pull on the dog show.
Don't ask me how.
Anyway, we managed to get a preview of these brand-new dog breeds.
You want to see these?
[Cheers and applause]
Thank you.
Well, let's bring them out, then.
Every other show wanted them.
First up, you'll never catch this new breed wagging its tail.
It's the double-ended Chihuahua.
Check him out.
It's the double-ended Chihuahua right there.
Very rare dog.
Very exciting.
I have a lot of questions about that dog.
It seems like it would be easy clean-up.
Next up, it's everything you love about Bassett hounds but much more of it.
It's the Basset Hound extreme.
It's natural enemy is the escalator.
We lose more of them that way.
This next breed is the cousin to the great Dane but it's chosen a more conventional life and image.
It's the average Dane.
He didn't stick around long.
ANDY: He's still on his shift.
CONAN: I know.
He's got to get back to work.
This next two dog breeds were genetically engineered so it won't track dirt inside the house.
It's the hovering saint Bernard.
It's also a crappy specialer equity.
ANDY: Right.
CONAN: Man, I hope they let me in on the new "star wars"
CONAN: My God.
And finally, everybody love this is new breed.
That's right.
It's the r2 Shih Tzu.
[Cheers and applause]
That dog has no idea what's going on.
ANDY: What the hell is going on?
CONAN: Does it know why it is he's funny?
What? Get to the funny part.
There they are, ladies and gentlemen.
The new dog breeds.
It's very exciting.
Let's bring them all out here.
Come on bring the hovering.
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Darn it!
Now, everybody sees our incredible special effects.
ANDY: It's like when the predator turned off the cloaking device.