1. Bill Maher Is Over Donald Trump's Ridiculous Lawsuit

Bill Maher Is Over Donald Trump's Ridiculous Lawsuit

CONAN Highlight: Says Bill, "He's an '80s pop reference; it's like having a spat with JR Ewing."

Transcript:

CONAN: Donald Trump is suing you --
BILL MAHER: I know.
CONAN: You had to know we were going to talk about this.
And trump and I are friends.
[Laughter]
We've got similar hair.
BILL MAHER: No, you don't.
No, no --
[Laughter]
As long as you brought it up.
Tell them why he's suing me.
CONAN: I want to make sure you -- I get the story straight.
You made a joke on your show that you wanted him to prove in the way he asked our president to prove that he's an American citizen.
You wanted him to prove that he was not the --
BILL MAHER: Love child of an orangutan.
And he thinks a joke on a late night talk show is a binding legal agreement.
There are no binding agreements.
You of all people should know this.
[Laughter]
CONAN: And it's still true.
ANDY: It takes a second to figure out -- this is healthy because it took me a second to figure out what you're saying.
Oh, right, right.
We're moving on.
CONAN: Never mind.
Andy, I remembered right away.
You moved on.
I was like I know exactly what he's talking about.
BILL MAHER: I don't have a truffer with this man.
I mean, he's not even a real person.
He's a pop reference from the 1980's.
It's like having a spat with J.R. Ewing.
He tweets about me constantly.
I answered it on my show Friday night because I had to say something.
And it was an epic takedown if I say so myself.
But you know, basically, let's move on to the other topic which is that we should not be having frivolous lawsuits like this.
They clog up the court.
You know, the legal system in this country is not a joke.
It's not a toy for rich idiots to play with.
It's not a collection agency for billionaires.
You know, and they should have -- I think they should have in the courts just like in the NBA you have a no flopping rule.
That's what we need in America a no flopping rule in the courts.
CONAN: You think trump is serious about carrying this forward?
Do you think he's serious about it or is he going to go away?
BILL MAHER: How do I know what's going on in this man's head?
It's like they took mini from "mice and men" and they made him a millionaire.
[Laughter]
CONAN: He's suing you for a kitten.
[Laughter]
Oh, George.
BILL MAHER: He would never win.
But anything said on a talk show could be legally binding.
CONAN: That's where I'm safe.
That's where I'm safe.
I act like such an ass.
You carry yourself with dignity.
I do crazy dances and moves.
The judge would throw that out.
That's why I can get away with anything because people think I'm a man-child.
BILL MAHER: Yeah.
CONAN: Every now and then try that.
Like Charlie.
[Laughter]
And then you say whatever you want.
BILL MAHER: Thanks for the advice, man.
CONAN: You'll go for with my advice.