1. Clueless Gamer: Conan Reviews "WWE 2K14"

Clueless Gamer: Conan Reviews "WWE 2K14"

CONAN Highlight: You might not think Conan is a wrestling natural, but wait til you see his custom "Conan" character. Follow these specs to create your own Conan character in "WWE 2K14."

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Transcript:

CONAN: Hello, Conan O'Brien here with another clueless gamer.
Today we're going to be playing wwe's 2-k 14.
Joining me once again is Aaron Bleyaert, fired from the show two years ago.
Still hangs around.
[Laughter]
What's up?
AARON BLEYAERT:  Wwe 2-k 14 just came out, very exciting.
We've never done a wrestling game.
CONAN No.
Is that playing "the national anthem"?
AARON BLEYAERT:Yeah.
CONAN: Get up.
You were going to sit there through ""the national anthem""?
and the thing that was gleaming
AARON BLEYAERT: So now you pick a guy.
They have other wrestlers there.
Triple h.
CONAN: I've met some of these.
Titus O'Neill, this looks like Louis C.K. crossed with Bart Simpson.
I'm going to be shamus because he's Irish like me and I love that he's made no attempts to get a tan.
Can you make this anthem stop?
I love my country, but this loop is killing me.
AARON BLEYAERT: Actually, we can't.
CONAN: So we're playing this on a loop because it's the only music we can afford.
Perfect.
I could have guessed that by the stools that we're sitting on and the room where we're shooting -- the same room where Joe Pesci was shot in "Goodfellas."
OK.
AARON BLEYAERT: So now the cool thing is every wrestler has their own entrance.
This is me.
AARON BLEYAERT: Kane!
The Monster Kane stalking to the ring with each evil step.
CONAN: That's not great writing.
You can't take an evil step.
Is that his lawyer?
Who's that guy who is there in the suit?
Here comes my guy.
AARON BLEYAERT: From Dublin, weighing 272 pounds, shamus!
CONAN: He's wearing women's bikini bottoms?
What is he wearing?
He's just been to the dermatologist, he's been cleared, those are not cancerous, those are freckles.
AARON BLEYAERT: The controls are a little complicated.
You walk around with this stick.
CONAN: This is the stick I walk with.
AARON BLEYAERT: Then you can grab on to it, either a or b, red or green.
CONAN: You know that I'm going to randomly hit buttons.
We've been doing this for two years and I randomly hit buttons.
AARON BLEYAERT: If you want to reverse and attack --
CONAN: I thought you meant take away my decision to review this game.
I'd be hitting my button right now.
AARON BLEYAERT: Doesn't get any tougher than this man.
CONAN: My guy is going to walk back and forth.
Look at that.
Doesn't it look like he's just gone insane?
I look like a person in the subway who's just gone insane.
I'm grabbing at nothing.
Aaah!
You know what I just realized?
He has the Catholic cross on his abs.
Heimlich.
I just saw that you had chicken.
>> Oh, nice.
Pretty advanced move.
CONAN: You know why?
I'm just punching things at random.
And then --
AARON BLEYAERT: Oh!
Hit buttons, hit buttons.
CONAN: I am.
That's good.
What are we doing here?
I'm having an orgasm.
Oh, you're dead.
AARON BLEYAERT: This is the breaking points. You won me by submission.
CONAN: It's erotic, did you notice that?
Look at that.
One of the great things about this game is you can design your own character.
I've been hard at work at mine, and that's me.
[Laughter]
The absence of an ass.
The corps-like skin color is correct.
Absolute existential despair, that's me.
I'm ready to go.
AARON BLEYAERT: All right, let's do it.
The rock's expression is sort of, what are you going to do about it?
CONAN: Mine is, why are we on this planet?
AARON BLEYAERT: We're going to play an inferno match.
CONAN: What's that?
AARON BLEYAERT: There's fire involved and you have to roll the guy into the fire.
CONAN: OK.
>> Weighing 260 pounds --
AARON BLEYAERT:The rock is, if you smelled the rock is cooking, what would your guy say in
CONAN: Do you smell that?
That's my pants, I'm afraid.
OK, here I come.
>> Working the ring, from Boston, Massachusetts --
CONAN: Yes.
Wait a minute.
[Laughter]
That's humiliating.
What an ass hole.
Oh, I'm surprised I'm not shot right now.
Look, the rock looks pretty scared.
AARON BLEYAERT: A fire time.
CONAN: Aaahh!
Oh!
Look!
Oh!
All 102 pounds of me.
I love how realistic this game is.
I would kick the crap out of the rock!
AARON BLEYAERT: Oh, no.
CONAN: Roland, Roland.
Aaahh, aaahh!
AARON BLEYAERT: Oh, there we go.
CONAN: Wait a minute.
Dhow he not get burned?
It must be some kind of Samoan oil.
Sleep well, rock.
Now I roll you.
Enjoy the flame this.
Is the most inelegant way to kill somebody.
Roll them in the fire.
Enjoy the fiery flames as I roll you.
AARON BLEYAERT: Oh, no!
Oh!
CONAN: Yes, yes!
[Applause]
Ladies and gentlemen, to see the other videos games I've reviewed and to find out how you can make your own wwe Conan wrestler -- why would you?
Head to teamcoco.com/cluelessgamer.