1. Coffee Table Books That Didn't Sell 02/19/13

Coffee Table Books That Didn't Sell 02/19/13

We don't know why Lego Porn didn't sell out for Valentine's Day.

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Transcript:

CONAN : 1It's a really good title.
I don't know why this one didn't sell. It's called "pope long shots" right there.
ANDY: Wow.
CONAN: There's pope Ray Liotta.
I think he has potential.
Then you have pope hulk Hogan.
And I would love to see pope Flava Flav.
Here's one.
This didn't sell, I don't know why.
It's called" big book of snake injuries."
ANDY: Oh, boy.
That's a terrible -- snakes love Van Halen.
CONAN: Yeah, they really do.
Look at this one on the back.
No, not that one, the other one right there.
[Laughter]
[Applause]
ANDY: Oh, boy.
Probably got in a car wreck.
CONAN: I can't believe this coffee table book didn't sell.
It's called "baby mug shots."
Oh, boy.
Who's the little fire starter?
Got a lot of them right here.
There's forgery right there, and check out this one.
[Applause]
You know what?
This is interesting.
Guys in hockey masks get a bad rap, from Friday the 13th, Halloween.
You're the one that says tweeted or twatted.
[Cheers and applause]
That's called four days off, yeah.
ANDY: A little rusty.
CONAN: All right, this one -- what was the setup to this?
I don't even want to talk anymore.
ANDY: A guy in a hockey mask from that movie.
CONAN: Jason, remember Jason?
Oh, my God, we're two old confederate soldiers.
ANDY: Why won't this thing rock?
[Laughter]
CONAN: This is guys in hockey masks doing nice things.
Look at that.
Habitat for humanity.
Look back here, he's helping -- see?
They can do nice things.
They're going to turn around that image right away.
ANDY: I still don't feel good about it, though.
CONAN: No, neither do I.
Look at this.
New Yorker cartoons captioned by 10-year-old boys.
Check it out.
I chopped off king kong's wiener.
Great.
One last question -- do you like butt?
These are better.
And then, hello, butt delivery.
Send over a wiener.
These are superior.
[Applause]
ANDY: I don't see any problem with these.
And there's a unifying theme.
CONAN: Yes.
ANDY: Yeah.
CONAN: Mr. T with other hair.
ANDY: Oh, that's nice.
[Applause]
CONAN: Look at this one right here.
ANDY: He's not fooling anybody.
CONAN: I'm shocked this one didn't sell.
It's called "lego porn."
ANDY: Wow.
[Laughter]
CONAN: I like the boat.
[Laughter]
OK, that's enough.
[Applause]