1. What Conan's Watching - Dexter, Duck Dynasty, Seinfeld Edition

What Conan's Watching - Dexter, Duck Dynasty, Seinfeld Edition

CONAN Highlight: Conan hits the info button on his remote control and gets some cold, hard TV truths.

Transcript:

CONAN: ONE THING I FIND HELPFUL WHEN I'M WATCHING TV IS THE INFO BUTTON ON THE CABLE REMOTE.
YOU KNOW THE BUTTON I'M TALKING ABOUT, YOU PRESS IT AND IT BRINGS UP THE SCREEN THAT TELLS YOU WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE SHOW YOU'RE WATCHING.
ANDY: YEAH.
CONAN: IT'S REALLY HELPFUL.
ANDY: ABSOLUTELY.
CONAN: I THOUGHT WE WOULD LOOK AT SOME INFO BUTTON RESULTS IN A PIECE CALLED "WHAT AM I WATCHING?"
LET'S CHECK OUT "60 MINUTES."
I THINK "60 MINUTES" IS ON.
OK.
LET'S CHECK OUT THE INFO BUTTON.
"SERIOUS AND THOUGHT PROVOKING LOOK AT ISSUES AFFECTING OUR SOCIETY AS PRESENTED BY REANIMATED SKELETONS."
SEEMS HARSH.
THERE'S "DEXTER."
"A SHOW THAT REVEALS A SAD TRUTH, THE ONLY WORTHWHILE PERSON IN FLORIDA IS A SERIAL KILLER."
CHECK OUT CELEBRITY "APPRENTICE," SEE WHAT THE INFO BUTTON SAYS, "WATCH MINI ME AND THE REPLACEMENT FOR KNIGHT RANGER FIGHT OVER WHO SOLD MORE LEMONADE."
"SESAME STREET," THIS SHOULD BE NICE.
"BLACK MAGIC ENABLES PUPPETS TO CO-EXIST WITH HUMANS IN AN UNNATURAL URBAN DYSTOPIA."
HERE'S "DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES."
LET'S CHECK IT OUT.
"ONE EMBARRASSING CLOWN'S QUEST FOR THE ULTIMATE CASE OF DIARRHEA."
ANDY: WOW.
CONAN: CHECK OUT DUCK DYNASTY.
"FORMER MEMBERS OF ZZ TOP DO SOMETHING WITH DUCKS."
"DATELINE NBC," "EVERY WEEK, A RESPECTED SMALL TOWN DOCTOR MURDERS SOMEONE HE LOVES."
WOW, THAT'S MORE TRUE THAN FUNNY.
"SEINFELD," LET'S CHECK OUT THE INFO BUTTON.
"YOU'VE SEEN THIS ONE."
"FASHION POLICE" WITH JOAN RIVERS.
CHECK IT OUT.
"HALF MELTED TALKING CANDLE MAKES JOKES" WHO AM I TO JUDGE?
CHECK OUT THE NEXT ONE.
"C.S.I.: MIAMI," LET'S SEE WHAT IT SAYS.
"DAVID CRUSOE ACTS LIKE A DOUCHE AROUND CORPSES."
AND FINALLY, "CONAN."
HEY, HERE'S "CONAN."
SEE WHAT IT SAYS.
"UNSCRIPTED REALITY SHOW ABOUT A MAN-CHILD AND HIS TRUSTY FRIEND, OTHER MAN-CHILD."
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
ANDY: SOME OF THE OTHERS WERE HARSH BUT THAT'S RIGHT ON.