CONAN: 28 years ago, OK, when I was just starting out in this business and I was just coming to L.A. and working as a TV writer, someone came up to me and said, hey, we're shooting this thing, we'll pay you next to nothing, do YOU want to do it? It was for the National Association of Music Merchants. ANDY: Sounds funny. CONAN: So, ladies and gentlemen, here's me 28 years ago and I apologize. COMMERCIAL HOST: Our success on your terms, improv players have selected several very difficult customer types that may come into your store. Let's look first at the opinionated type of customers -- customer. CLERK: Hi, how ARE YOU? Joey Clams, how can I help you? CONAN: I'm looking to buy a guitar. I'm not so sure about this. This has a fiberoptic body. I don't know about the balance on this thing. I don't think so at all. This is way off the scale. They don't even that -- use that anymore. No, these frets were laid in after the production. You can see they used a chizzle head. CLERK: Yeah, but -- CONAN: Smell that, smell that. Does that smell like the right oil now? COMMERCIAL HOST: Just use the appropriate strategy and turn the situation around. CONAN: This isn't a solid spruce top. CLERK: Trust me, it really is good quality. And you know, I do respect your knowledge about guitars. CONAN: Hm. [Laughter] [Applause] CONAN: I can't get over my voice, that's the main thing. Absolutely horrific.