Deon explains why February is important to all black men -- by speaking through the whitest writer possible.
CONAN: As you all know, February has been black history month.
Time to call attention to the great contributions of African-Americans.
Here to comment on the importance of black history month and what is means to him personally is one of our show's writers.
Mr. Deon Cole.
Give it up for Deon!
DEON: Thanks, Conan.
I've got a lot to say tonight, but I don't want to just be another black man talking about black history month.
People would just tune me out.
So I like to bring out the show's whitest writer, and that's saying something, to read what I wrote.
Please welcome Brian Kiley.
BRIAN: Thanks, Conan.
As a proud African-American, I do have a lot to say about black history month.
First off, why the hell did you wait until your very last show in February to trot my black ass out here?
You f'ed up derp!
Now last second you bring me out here to make it look like you know what's popping with us brothers.
Well, Conan, I ain't going out like that. You feel me?
I'm tired of being the only black writer in a room full of middle aged, Downton Abbey watching, kale chip eating, small dick wonders.
If you really want to pay tribute to a brother, how about hooking a player up with a raise so I'll be rolling in ducats?
Yeah, that's what I thought, chalk stripe.
Conan, me and the other brothers are walking out of here.
Until you start showing us more respect, you're not going to see my black chocolate mocha Carmel latte ass again, mother [Beep].
CONAN: Deon Cole, everybody. Well said, Deon.