Jenna Elfman's Husband Gets Fussy Without Sex

April 10, 2014

If her hubby doesn't scratch his itch at least twice a week he gets all PMS-y, Jenna says.

TranscriptCONAN: You are coming up on your 20th wedding anniversary? JENNA: Right. CONAN: Next year? And there are probably people watching what are thinking what's the key to a long-lasting relationship in your opinion? JENNA: I probably have a list of things for every year. Well, you have to have sex, right? CONAN: Yeah, yes, yes, yes. I didn't know what you meant. JENNA: A lot of people who have been in long marriages, I've heard from people where months go by. That can't, my husband, no. [LAUGHTER] CONAN: Andy, come back. Why are you crying? ANDY GARCIA: It's that time, I got to go. [LAUGHTER] CONAN: You have a buzzer on your watch. JENNA: No, my husband has indoctrinated me that there is no way that will ever happen. He gets all fussy, P.M.S.-y and fussy if he doesn't have sex. CONAN: If your husband doesn't have sex, he gets fussy? JENNA: Erk, yeah, -- oh, yeah, like irrational. Cranky. And I'm like what is going -- oh. CONAN: Wow. OK. JENNA: He's taught me. Like I can read him now and I'm like, oh, that's all. He just needs to be taken care of. CONAN: Yes. JENNA: Am I right? [LAUGHTER] ANDY GARCIA: I'm thinking, I'm thinking. CONAN: Uh, yes. JENNA: Let's take a survey, shall we? Men? CONAN: Yes, men, of course, like to be taken care of. We all like to be taken care of. JENNA: But remember last time I was here, I was, I thought I was such a hero, once a week, keeping it at once a week. No, I've upped it to twice a week now. CONAN: Twice a week? That's -- JENNA: I know. I think I'm a hero. After 23 years that's pretty impressive. Don't you think? CONAN: No, twice a week is -- I go by the Mayan calendar, you know? [LAUGHTER] CONAN: I wait for certain stars to align. ANDY: Yeah, yeah. I do it off the tides. Yeah, yeah. JENNA: I think we need to have a wife convention. CONAN: Well, I'm curious. So your husband, how does he let you know? Specifically how does he let you know? He gets fussy, but does he ever come out and say it or send you a message? JENNA: He texts me. CONAN: Oh. He texts you? JENNA: Like if I'm out with the kids in the other room and he wakes up, because he wakes up later in the morning, he'll like text me, I'm hopping in the shower. And so I'm like, you know, jumping on the trampoline, oh, got to go, kids. CONAN: If I texted my wife "I'm hopping in the shower," she would text back, "good luck with that and now you will be clean." JENNA: It's not like I'm on his beck and call. Not like that. But he'll be like, are you going to be hopping in the shower soon or if I'm out -- he'll say, what's your E.T.A. and I know that -- or if there's like people in the kitchen, "I'd love to have some family time with you later." Family time. CONAN: Oh, family time. JENNA: That you can say in front of the kids. CONAN: I love E.T.A. That's one people use for everything. ANDY: I have a feeling he's just asking questions and you're real horny. [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] ANDY: Like he's just really wondering, I wonder when she's coming home? CONAN: Hey, Jenna, did you get my skin medication? Oh, ho! Hold on, partner!

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