1. Julie Bowen's Kangaroo Testicle Lesson

Julie Bowen's Kangaroo Testicle Lesson

CONAN Highlight: When Julie and Andy Richter start sketching obscene marsupial anatomy, Conan swoops in with his trusty Sharpie to keep things family-friendly.

Transcript:

JULIE BOWEN: I didn't want to bring home 
souvenirs, so I went to the 
market and they†-- hot trade in 
kangaroo balls.
Conan: They sell them?
JULIE BOWEN: Yes.
And there's a very, very brisk 
trade in the kangaroo balls.
You get a lighter or a fun 
bottle opener.  
Conan: You can't just say 
kangaroo balls and we're all 
with you.
They remove them and they're 
stuck with something?
JULIE BOWEN: They're like fury dice.
When they're very furry it was 
kind of funny.
Although they're very hard.
Imagine your lover†-- it has 
rigor mortis and they're dead.
Your male lover.
Let's go back to -- 
Conan: How did we get†-- I'm 
with a dead man?
JULIE BOWEN: A hairy dead man.
And I'm feeling around down 
there.
This is the worst conversational 
train I've been on.
Imagine you're in bed with a man 
who is dead and†--
JULIE BOWEN: And hairy.  
Andy: First thing you do, check 
his balls.  

Conan: That is true. 
JULIE BOWEN: That is true.
But they are†-- I thought, oh, 
oh, this is fun and maybe this 
would be a laugh and I said to 
the man, do they use every part 
of the kangaroo and the meat and 
this is all environmental and he 
said.
It's a terrible job.
No one wants the job.
And suddenly†-- 
Conan: I thought the kangaroo 
had already passed away. 

JULIE BOWEN: At that point I didn't want 
to know anymore.
When there's not a lot of hair 
on the balls†-- 
Conan: Anyone tuning in right 
now? 
Let's check out Conan just for a 
second and then they hear that 
one second†--
JULIE BOWEN: When there's not a lot of 
hair on the balls they are kind 
of humanoid and that wasn't 
right.
That just wasn't right.
Conan: Probably never repeated 
any of this.
Andy: You're talking about the 
scrotum not the balls.  
JULIE BOWEN: What's the difference? 
Andy: That's the thing that 
encloses and the balls is the 
actual organ. 
JULIE BOWEN: This is the whole package.
Conan: Andy, would you draw? 
Andy? 
Andy: These are actually in 
there?
JULIE BOWEN: Show everybody, Andy. 
It's more of this.
It's more of a heart-shaped kind 
of a thing.
Just a little bit like 
somebody†-- like you take that 
picture to your doctor.
Conan: I have to fix this for 
turner so we don't have a 
problem.
There we go.
It's all fixed now.
Yeah.
There we go.
It's a happy guy now. 
JULIE BOWEN: It's Mr. Light bulb.  
ANDY: It's professor scrots.
CONAN: I just fixed this whole thing 
for tbS and now it's professor 
scrots? 
Andy: Yeah, yeah.
We'll dub him light bulb.