1. Marc Maron's Useless Cats

Marc Maron's Useless Cats

Marc thinks that hiring a cat wrangler for his show was just a waste of time. Especially for the cat.

Transcript:

CONAN: Let's talk about your show, "Maron."
I love a guy who names a show after himself.

MARC MARON: I had no choice.
It was either “Maron” or "not Louie."

CONAN: This is your second season the I notice you have a lot
of cats on your show and I know you have cats in real life.
I've been to your house.

MARC MARON: Yes.

CONAN: Done your Podcast.
Do you use your real cats in the show?

MARC MARON: Are you kidding?
My real cats are useless.
I can barely touch my cats.
You got get a cat guy.
They have cat handlers.
Which is quite honestly a bit of a racket let's be honest, what do you think you're going to do with a
cat?
The first season we hire a cat handler.
He shows up, wearing khakis, got that, what is that guy's name,
the dead guy, Steve Irwin?
The animal guy.

CONAN: The dead guy?
You mean he's got like the safari outfit?

MARC MARON: Yeah.
Just trying to make an example.
But he is dead, right?
The guy is dead.

CONAN: Well, you dug yourself out of that hole.

MARC MARON: Yeah.
So he's wearing -- come on!
He shows up, wearing the khakis, got a little cat guy badge and
has cats the 
CONAN: A professional.

MARC MARON: Yeah, whatever that means.
So we're going to shoot the scene with the cats on the porch.
He comes over with the cage and he's standing there in his
outfit and said, "let's see if we can get it out of the box."
That doesn't sound confident!
He doesn't.
But he dumps the box out.
It's a cat.
It's like I don't want to be out here.
I'd rather be in the box.
I was thinking to myself, I can do that.
Just show up with my dumb cats, let's see what happens.

CONAN: Is the premise that he trained the cats?

MARC MARON: This season we had these women who are genuine cat ladies.
It's a little weird because they're not unlike cat ladies who
don't have a job.
They have a fundamental problem with people.

CONAN: Right.
You're having better luck with these cats and the cat ladies?

MARC MARON: Yes.
The new cat ladies are very nice and did a wonderful job
because now we actually have cats on the show as opposed to
just the suction cats the "oh, there's a bowl, there is
some hair on the couch."
Can't get it out of the box.
Go to commercial, cut.

CONAN: You ever use a stuffed cat, have its head lean?

ANDY: That's what we would do.

MARC MARON: A puppet?
No, didn't do that, Conan.