1. Let's Mess With Texas

Let's Mess With Texas

It's a battle royale as Texas takes on its state rivals, including California, Alaska, Florida, and more! #ConanDallas


Conan: Texans are very proud of how 
tough their state is.
In fact-- I mentioned this 
before, I keep hearing the 
phrase, don't mess with Texas.
Well that sounded like a dare to 
I think it's time we found out 
just how tough Texas is.
That's right, ladies and 
gentlemen, let's mess with 
Ladies and gentlemen, weighing 
at 2,068 please welcome the 
state of Texas!
Oh, no.
Here comes California.
(Audience boos) 
Conan: California looking for 
And California gets Texas from 
Oh, man.
Look who comes now.
Here comes Alaska!
Here comes Alaska to help take 
on Texas.
Man look at that.
Right in the tundra.
Oh, yeah, that's a tough one.
Here comes Alaska's little buddy 
He snuck up on Texas.
That was low, Hawaii.
It looks like it's a tough time 
for Texas.
Texas is on the ropes.
Texas is picking up Hawaii!
And using to beat Alaska.
Now he's-- oh, the back 
Ladies and gentlemen, here comes 
It's Florida.
(Audience boos) 
>> And Florida is completely 
high on bath salts.
He wants to eat Texas' face.
What's Texas gonna do.
Texas hot sauce!
Hot sauce beats bath salts every time.