To prep for "The World's End," Simon determined there are a dozen stages of intoxication. By the time he hits 12, watch out.
CONAN: I wanted to talk to you about "the world's end." It's about your character initiates this pub crawl that he wants to go to. 12 pubs. Have you ever partaken in a pub crawl? I never did it in my life. Simon: I wanted to go somewhere and stay there. What's the point walking? When you're drinking it gets harder and harder. I would always camp out. There was this thing in the U.K., mainly guys in a bachelor party, nurses, specific groups will do it. CONAN: Groups of nurses? Simon: Oh, yeah. CONAN: Then they go back to work, ingesting chemicals for people. That's great. That's terrific. Simon: You have one pint and you go on to the next level and then you die. CONAN: So, did you do -- you went on one? Simon: Nick frost who's on the video with me. I went on -- it was a bachelor party that's called stag do. CONAN: Stag do? You guys have such cookie language. It's a cookie. It's a chimney blicket. Simon: When you have a party, it becomes a bit of a do. Mine was in Belgium. We went out in search of a gentleman's bar. We figure we should do that. We should do it. CONAN: That's a nicer way to call. A gentlemen's establishment. Andy: Those places are loaded with gentlemen. Simon: Wall to wall. We couldn't find one. We eventually found one in some back alley. It wasn't very nice. A lot of the people there were bruised. CONAN: There were bruised, nude dancer. Simon: There was a beautiful Russian dancer on the stage. She turned -- someone obviously kneed her in the leg. CONAN: Oh, God. That's depressing. Simon: We went to a bar. CONAN: Are you sure it was a bar? Simon: It was a bar. CONAN: Welcome to cock -- Simon: Also a gentleman's club. The irony was we went all night looking for boobs and wound up in the cock. CONAN: Yes, it often happens. I wanted to ask you something -- actors I've heard this throughout the year, acting drunk is one of the hardest things to do. People tend to overdo it or do it very wrong. For this role you had to be very precise. Simon: We had 12 stages of drunkness. We came up with 12 stages of drunkness. We get into a lot of fights in the pubs. This causes the adrenaline deficit. You know when you get into a bar fight, right? CONAN: You betcha. Simon: We've all done it, come on. That takes a couple of pints off your drunkness. CONAN: Because your adrenaline you become more aware. Simon: Basically we have the 12 stages of drunkness which we could drop into any one time. To be honest, the first six, you can't really tell. You can cover it up. Around seven you get slow eye blink. It's that. It's very subtle. By pint nine your neck falls out of your head. So your head starts going like that. [Laughter] CONAN: You're really good at that. So if I just called one out, you could do it -- you're that good four. Simon: This is easy. Look. I'm drunk enough to cover it up. So you're not going to see anything. Go up six. Go higher. CONAN: Eight. Simon: That's above the neck, looks just like that. [Laughter] CONAN: That was -- all right. [APPLAUSE] I've got to do it. 12! Here we go. Simon: 10 you go -- you start to lose your short-term memory. Every 30 seconds you remember how drunk you are. You do this. [Laughter] Simon: By the time you get to 12 you are in total denial you are convinced that your sober. But you are drunker than you've ever been. So you just dismiss. And you do this. [Laughter] [APPLAUSE]