1. Triumph Watches The World Cup, Part 2

Triumph Watches The World Cup, Part 2

Our favorite Insult Comic Dog takes Manhattan to help anguished English soccer fans take out their anger on Italy.

Watch "Triumph Watches The World Cup, Part 1" & "Triumph Watches The World Cup, Part 3" Now!

Transcript:

TRIUMPH: I understand all the waiters here, all the Italian waiters have the respect for the game.
They're only groping the women with their feet.
Waaa!
Score!
Score!
I got a goal.
I got a goal.
>> We're here at Nevada Smith's.
Doesn't look good right now for jolly old England.
The fans are not happy.
They're not happy.
Less than welcoming.
England just lost to Italy.
I'm going to try and help them.
You mad at Italy?
OK, yes, take it out on this.
>> Here you go.
Terrifying.
Joe DiMaggio!
Joe DiMaggio!
Joe DiMaggio.
Joe DiMaggio.
Head butt.
Spaghetti and meatballs.
What, you're afraid of some Italian food?
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Gay sex later.
I swear to God I was on your side.
Look, I got this jersey, right?
And look, I did the teeth.
Heroic head butt for Italy.
Yes!
Yes!
Step on that olive.
Step on that cannoli.
This is a welcome relief from those hooligans from England.
We're in a nice Japanese restaurant where everyone is watching the game with the quintessential Japanese respect and traditional behavior.
Good evening, good evening.
I am most honored to be here and enjoying the game with you.
The competition on the television, I am most honored.
May I add that the Japanese world cup team is the most impressive assemblage of very, very able bodied soccer players for me to poop on.
May I point out with due respect that Japan is playing Ivory Coast.
Very large men in the Ivory Coast.
I have noticed that tonight's game represents the largest penis size differential in the history of world cup sports.
I am most sorry for you then.
Arigato.
Our evening takes us to east Harlem, where fans of the Ivory Coast are spinning.
Goal!
Goal!
Goal, goal, goal, goal, goal.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
I think they got a goal.
Is that a goal?
Tell me what happened.
What happened?
Ivory Coast won the coin flip?
What happened?
There he is.
And good luck.
It's good luck, yes.
Yes.
Oh, yes.
Hold it.
OK.
How about down here?
[applause]