Triumph Watches The World Cup, Part 3

June 27, 2014

The Insult Comic Dog travels to Brazil to get to the bottom of World Cup fever.

Watch "Triumph Watches The World Cup, Part 1" and "Triumph Watches The World Cup, Part 2" Now!

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TranscriptTRIUMPH: Mexico! Mexico! >> The game has just begun, which means we're about 20 minutes away from urinals being filled with vomited Sangria. In Mexico, what is easier, playing soccer with a soccer ball or a feathered head? OK, thank you, thank you for an honest answer. Incredible. This man has come from far as Brooklyn heights. Yes, somewhere an artisanal shop has been left unattended. >> How far did you come for the World Cup in Brazil? >> I saw the opener. >> In Brazil for $5 you can see anyone's opener. Substitution. Just to show you how loyal I am to Brazil, look at this. I have a full Brazilian, baby. 0-0, very exciting stuff here. People are cheering. They're actually yawning at the top of their lungs. Yeah, I got to split, I'm sorry, if I want to watch a bunch of dudes juggle balls for two hours, I'll go to one of Andy Dick's pool parties. Andy Dick. Juggling testicles, whatever, very exciting as soccer always is, but now we're getting late in the game and Mexico has only three bribes left. [Cheers and Applause] >> There you go. Brazil and Mexico, yeah! Mexico! Mexico! Listen, in the interest of international solidarity, I pledge to bang a dog from every country in the World Cup! Yes, right now! Outside, right now! Let's go! Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Yeah! It was a good game! Nothing to be ashamed! [Laughter] >> Seriously, good game. [Laughter] >> You can go now. [Laughter] >> A little help, folks. OK, OK. I feel better. Wait, are you a Boston terrier? I'll be right back. Oh, yes. [Laughter] >> Oh, yes. Brazil, Brazil. Oh, hail Brazil. Oh, hail Brazil. Did you finish yet? [Laughter] Let me know when you go. [Laughter] >> Am I doing something wrong? That was a game. That was a game. This is a good time. Who needs to be in Rio for the World Cup, man? You got your beer. You got everything you need right here in Astoria queens, why would anyone need to go to Rio? What can it possibly have that this doesn't have? What? >> Brazil has the best ass in the world. [Laughter] >> Excuse me, can you tell me where the ass is. Ass, assimente. Badonkadonkista. [Laughter] [Screaming] >> I love you, ass! [Cheers and Applause]

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