CONAN: What about this phenomenon?
Sometimes I'll be in a bar, it doesn't happen a lot.
But if I'm in a situation where other people are around and serving drinks, people recognize you, they want to buy you.
WILLIAM H. MACY: Especially frank.
They want to buy frank a drink.
CONAN: They know him from "Shameless" and they want to buy that guy a drink.
WILLIAM H. MACY: I was with George Clooney and doing a film together.
Everybody wanted to buy George a drink.
He took the whole crew out.
I watched him -- it had to be a dozen drinks.
And oh, my God, the next day, the crew was useless.
We didn't get a shot off until noon.
I thought how does he do this?
Someone told me, he does this, this is true, sorry to give it away.
Buy me a drink.
Here is to you.
He would dump it on the floor and back he would go.
Nobody got it all night.
CONAN: The guy thought I bought George Clooney a shot and he did it, this is so cool.
WILLIAM H. MACY: Isn't that clever?
CONAN: If someone buys a shot, I say thanks a lot, I hold it in front of their face, pour it out and throw the glass away with contempt.
WILLIAM H. MACY: You know what I do?
Someone buys me a dunk, I drink it.
CONAN: I think you win.
WILLIAM H. MACY: But only if it's alcohol.
CONAN: If it's milk, no, you walk away.
I would think at this point in your career, you have done so much great work, TV, film, are you past the point where you have to audition?
You don't have to audition anymore?
WILLIAM H. MACY: No, other than my wife and children, it's the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
It happened after "Fargo."
After you get not named for on oscar, you don't have to do an audition.
I didn't know why I didn't do it earlier.
Only if I had known.
One of the last auditions I had, I got called in for alien 5 or 9.
It was a French director, he spoke no English.
Two women were translated.
It was a cavernous room with a folding chair and me sitting in it.
I'm hanging upside down.
The alien has wrapped me like a cocoon and ready to suck my juices our.
The director said from the translators, you lost your mind, you're insane.
I said it's beautiful.
He said no, no, no, you have fallen in love with the alien, the beauty.
I said, it's beautiful.
He said, no, no, he keeps giving me these directions.
I finally for once in my career had the wherewithal to stand up and say, guys, it's not going to happen.
And I left.
CONAN: So you knew this isn't going to happen.
You walked away and did the women translate to the French director that --
WILLIAM H. MACY: I didn't wait for that part.
CONAN: Before that, you were a good humor man for a while?
WILLIAM H. MACY: I was for seven, no, 10, 10 hours.
CONAN: Oh, hours.
I was thinking it's going to be months, maybe years, although I doubted that.
WILLIAM H. MACY: Here is the deal.
I learned how to be a good humor man.
They apparently have to train you to ring that bell.
They gave me the truck.
You had to get it by sun-up, about 5:30, 6:00 in the morning.
You couldn't bring the truck back until the sun went down, 10:00 at night in the summertime.
I made it until 10:00 in the morning.
These little kids would wave the truck down and that bell, by 10:00, was driving me insane.
I was losing my mind ringing this bell.
These little kids would stop the truck and I get out and realize, you're 3 years old.
You don't have any money.
Why did you stop the truck, man?
You stop the truck, you had to go through this process and oh, God.
CONAN: What are you doing when 3-year-olds want ice cream and didn't have any money?
WILLIAM H. MACY: I started searching their pockets and they didn't have any money.
So I thought I'm going to get busted.
So I drove it to a bar and drank until 9:30.
CONAN: The ice cream melting in the truck.
That's the saddest thing I ever heard.