1. Brazil's World Cup PR Rep Explains All

Brazil's World Cup PR Rep Explains All

Those aren't protesters in the streets, they're just big fans of the street barbacoa next to the burning car.


CONAN: As you all know the world cup is underway in Brazil, always an exciting event.
But there's been a lot of problems down there with corruption, angry protestors, terrible traffic, giant cost overruns.
A lot of critics have questioned whether Brazil was ready to host the world cup at all.
Here to talk about all the problems is Brazil's world cup public relations director Flavio Paulino.
Hello, Mr. Paulino.
FLAVIO: Hello, Conan!
CONAN: How are things going down there?
FLAVIO: Couldn't be better.
CONAN: Look at this picture.
This is a protestor having trouble with fifa.
FLAVIO: Fifa stands for fun is fantastic, AHHH!
CONAN: How about people who say we don't need money for world cup.
We need hospitals an educations.
FLAVIO: No, no, those are just people who want tickets for Brazil's hot new band, hospitals and education.
CONAN: That's not a new band.
FLAVIO: I'm sure you've heard our new song --
When you dance in the city tonight --
CONAN: Stop it, OK?
I'm glad I told you to stop because you clearly had stopped.
You just made that song up.
FLAVIO: The band hospitals and education?
You're calling to tell me you love the song that I didn't make up on the spot?
CONAN: Your phone didn't even ring.
FLAVIO: Airplane mode.
CONAN: What about the money that was wasted on soccer stadiums.
FLAVIO: That place is great!
CONAN: It's being used for four games.
What are you going to do with it after that?
FLAVIO: It could be a piranha convention center, Shakespeare in the park for frogs, or even a nightclub for snakes.
CONAN: Wait a minute, nightclub for snakes.
FLAVIO: Great idea.
And you know what song they could dance to --
When you're a snake in the city tonight 
CONAN: I meant to tell you that poster is offensive.
FLAVIO: That's my wife and daughters you're talking about.
CONAN: It's clear to everyone that you're in total denial about the problems down there --
FLAVIO: Conan, let's get funky with a little hospitals and education.
When you dance in the city tonight --
CONAN: Turn it off, just turn it off.
FLAVIO: No, no, this Amazon nightclub snake is loving it.
CONAN: Cobras don't even live in Brazil.
FLAVIO: This is globe trotting party cobra!
Right, cobra?
CONAN: Are you OK?
FLAVIO: No, I'm dead.