Ted compares his sexual prowess to Shaq's late-career stint with the Celtics.
Chad wasn't sure what his daughter would need for her first period, so he bought every feminine product in the store.
Nick handily makes his late night debut on CONAN.
Brad's not smart enough to have an epiphany like Isaac Newton. If an apple fell on his head, he’d just think about inventing a fruit helmet.
If you never smuggled weed up your butt, Dean doesn’t think you deserve to smoke it.