Welcome to a reality not unlike our own, except that hot dogs squirm.
Where athletes receive gold medals in front of their naked mothers.
I would love to write "As Seen On PBS’s Antiques Roadshow" next to this convenience store hot dog.
"This is the second-best award show I could ever host!" - @ConanOBrien on the #CONAN Audiencey Awards -> http://t.co/85nUqT6sT7 #movieawards