"Hey @MTV -- these #MovieAwards screeners you sent don't work!" - @ConanOBrien
"I just had an epic Italian meal in New York. Go here ASAP." - @ConanOBrien
"Tonight, Charles Barkley solves one of life's greatest mysteries: Which of us has the bigger head." - @ConanOBrien
"Tonight on my final night in Texas, I'm bringing back one of my greatest inventions." - @ConanOBrien
"Confession: I don't understand how photobombs work." - @ConanOBrien
"Tonight on #ConanDallas, @AndyRichter and I did this. If it's wrong, I don't want to be right." - @ConanOBrien
"Aw, @SethRogen brought me the traditional Texas gift, "an aluminum tin of room-temperature beans." - @ConanOBrien
".@AdamSandler agreed to be on #ConanDallas tonight only if I let him give me a "Texas Titty Twister"." - @ConanOBrien
I invited @IFCPortlandia's Fred and Carrie into my blanket fort before tonight's show!
"Taken right before @AaronPaul_8 taught me how to tie a tie." - @ConanOBrien
Still can’t believe that "Elon Musk" isn’t an Eastern European cologne tycoon.
#DIY: @MrMattWalsh can make an #iPad using common household items -
y'know, like an Etch-A-Sketch. -> http://t.co/3ICr7VMZvL