1. Bryan Cranston's Favorite Erotic Fan Letter

Bryan Cranston's Favorite Erotic Fan Letter

It's an unsettling note...that actually is more about Aaron Paul than Bryan.

  • Watch the full episode here for even more "Breaking Bad" secrets and surprises.
  • Transcript:

    CONAN: Your fans are absolutely incredible.
    They are so loyal.
    Bryan, you say that you got one fan letter that really stood out of all of the fan letters.
    Bryan: We were talking about that.
    I said I'm going to bring this fan letter with me.
    Can I read it to you?
    CONAN: Yes, you may.
    Bryan: This is an honest to goodness fan letter.
    It came to me, it says, dear Bryan Cranston, let me preface this letter by saying he is have a master's degree in psychology I have never been diagnosed with any psychotic disorder.
    You know when a letter starts out with I have never been diagnosed with any psychotic disorder, no one has caught me yet.
    So I am writing to you because I have been holed up in my apartment for two days and nights watching all seasons of your show.
    I am in love with it all.
    After I was done with all of the episodes, I watched some interviews and what this is all amounted to is that right now I am fantasizing about having sex with Aaron Paul.
    Aaron: Yes!
    Bryan: And for you to be there watching.
    Bryan: I swear to God.
    CONAN: What are you doing?
    Bryan: It says I am not sure what your role would be.
    Bryan: But I think I want you there.
    ANDY: Nice, he is giving you some leeway.
    CONAN: You'll figure it out.
    Bryan: He is giving me some lee away.
    ANDY: Is it a he or a she?
    Bryan: It is a she!
    CONAN: I thought it was a he the whole time!
    [Cheers and Applause]
    ANDY: You picture the letter however you want.
    I'll picture it however I want.
    Bryan: The last thing she, she says is, come on, it would be a good time.
    Come on!
    Let me have sex with Aaron and you watch, come on with me!
    CONAN: Now, I have to bring this up.
    There are so many finale theories, there is actually a theory for the finale that Walt is in the witness protection program.
    He gets a new family.
    He changes his name to Hal, it's the prequel to "Malcolm in the middle."
    I thought that was ingenious.
    And that whole series runs.
    Bryan: But it already ran, so how do you we --
    ANDY: Time doesn't mean anything, man.
    CONAN: Speaking of the last episode, we don't want to know anything, but what I do have, what I have heard about two hours ago was that you read, the two of you read the last episode together.
    Bryan: Yes.
    CONAN: Before you shot it, you sat together and you read it, is that right?
    Bryan: Yes.
    There is a really wonderful documentary that, two-hour documentary that is going to be in the final compilation of D.V.D.s and it's really in-depth.
    We thought it would be a fun idea for Aaron and I to read it cold out loud in this documentary.
    So we read this without knowing what was going to happen.
    And then they intercut that earlier with Vince Gilligan writing the last episode.
    It was a fun thing.
    CONAN: It must have been very powerful when you got towards the end?
    Aaron: It was very emotional experience for us for sure.
    When he said, when he read out loud end of series, there was probably a good 10, 15 seconds --
    Bryan: We were just sitting quietly, like, wow, we're never going to read another first episode again.
    It's over.
    Aaron: Yeah.
    Bryan: Thanks for bringing that up, Conan.
    CONAN: I can't think of a better time to go to commercial.
    On that huge laugh, we'll be right back with Vince Gilligan, Anna Gunn and Dean Norris, so stick around!
    [Cheers and Applause]
    CONAN: That was nice!
    Bryan: Thank you!
    Don't introduce him yet, I'm not done.
    CONAN: Please welcome the creator of "Breaking Bad," Vince Gilligan along with Anna Gunn and Dean Norris!
    [Cheers and Applause]
    CONAN: Wow, first of all, congratulations, Anna and Vince on the Emmy wins last night and everybody, everybody, all of you.
    That must have been a thrilling moment.
    Vince: It was fantastic.
    Well, you had it twice there.
    You had that feeling twice, though, last night.
    Anna: It was amazing.
    It was amazing.
    Vince: I was clapping so hard for Anna that actually I hurt my hands.
    There were throbbing.
    Literally throbbing.
    CONAN: Blood was shooting our.
    Vince: Yeah.
    CONAN: So much to talk about, hard to squeeze into a one-hour show.
    Vince, let's start with this, as planned, you wanted to take from Walter white from Mr. Chips to Scarface in one episodic series and you have done that.
    Did you like Walt in the beginning?
    Did you have a lot of sympathy for Walt early on?
    Vince: Yeah, I would say I did.
    I found him just a very likable fellow who was put upon by his wife.
    He was married to a wonderful woman, but they were having financial difficulties.
    You know, he represented a lot of middle class Americans who were having a tough time with it.
    CONAN: When did it turn for you or has had not yet turned --
    are you surprised that there are a lot of people that still, in a sick way, I'm going to include myself among one of them, I root for Walter, yes!
    I want him to somehow -- I want him somehow to pull it off and be redeemed.
    Was that ever your idea?
    Vince: You know, it was kind of an experimental television show.
    I wanted to see how dark we could take him.
    I was kind of, in the early days before I realized that it could actually turn into a hit, you know, I thought it would be interesting to see how many -- I can't believe I'm saying this, I really thought it would be interesting to see how many viewers we shake off in the process of making this guy darker and darker and sociologically speaking, what surprises me, people are along for the ride.
    They're hanging on no matter what this guy does.
    By the way, did you like that fan letter I wrote you?
    Bryan: Here he is right here!
    CONAN: There have been so many surprising things about the show.
    Anna, you had such a powerful scene early in season five where you repeatedly yell shut up, shut up, shut up and in the society we are in now, it has turned into a ring tone.
    Anna: Apparently so.
    CONAN: It's quite popular.
    We have it right now.
    Can we play it?
    Anna: Shut up!
    Shut up!
    Shut up!
    Shut up!
    Shut up!
    [Cheers and Applause]
    Anna: Imagine being in the doctors office when they say please turn off your cell phones --
    CONAN: At the opera.
    CONAN: Anna, Bryan is well known for trying to lighten the mood, bring silliness to the set and he is not afraid to use any means necessary.
    Is that true?
    Anna: That is true.
    That is true.
    And it often involves either wearing underwear or not wearing any underwear at all.
    CONAN: Really?
    Anna: Yes.
    So I think it started in the pilot, right?
    Bryan: Oh, yeah.
    Anna: And it was the, you were directing that episode and it was the scene where you get into bed next to me and say, and you cuddle up next to me and I say, Walt, is that you?
    You put some interesting, some interesting something in your tidy whiteys to enhance the situation.
    CONAN: Does anybody know what that is?
    What is it that you put in there?
    Bryan: Walter Jr. was the --
    Bryan: It was no longer a junior.
    I don't know, some sort of phallus of some sort.
    Anna: It was a can of hair spray, I believe.
    Bryan: I'll take anything, a microphone.
    CONAN: No, no, no.
    CONAN: This is mine.
    Dean, I have to ask you, just before an amazing scene, but before Hank, just before he leaves this earth he compliments Walt.
    He says you're the smartest guy I ever knew.
    Dean: That was written, by the way.
    CONAN: You ad libbed that.
    Dean: That's what I said.
    Do I have to say that?
    CONAN: But you complimented him.
    It must have been for your character, that must have been difficult, you're complimenting the guy who has brought about your death.
    Dean: Yeah.
    CONAN: Was that a strange moment for you?
    Dean: It was a great moment.
    Actually it was the one time that I thought Walter white redeemed himself at one point.
    He was begging for my life.
    It was nice.
    CONAN: A very warm fuzzy moment.
    Dean: Yeah!
    [Cheers and Applause]
    CONAN: Dean, you had a son while making this show and -- yeah, while making the show you had a son.
    The middle name is Vincent.
    Dean: Yeah.
    CONAN: After Vince Gilligan.
    Dean: That's right, after Vince Gilligan, that's right.
    CONAN: Why not first name?
    Dean: I don't like him that much.
    Dean: I like him secondish.
    First name is too brown nosed.
    I wanted to go with Hank, but my wife is like no.
    Hank is a great name.
    CONAN: Vince, while finalizing the last episodes, which you do here at Warner brothers over the near the water tower, you finalize the episodes and lock the images.
    You were paranoid about not finishing this somehow because it's been such a long journey.
    Vince: Yeah, I had this weird, you guys know this, but I've driving along to Warner brothers to do the mix or driving home at night or I'm getting in a car crash or something.
    I don't want to die before this thing ends.
    CONAN: Awful.
    Bryan: Next Monday, wait until next Monday.
    Vince: The good news is I can die now.
    It's all done.
    CONAN: You know it comes from, I'm sticking with my theme tonight of ending each of these segments on the darkest note possible.
    We'll be right back, Betsy Brandt and R.J. Mitte, stick around!
    [Cheers and Applause]
    CONAN: We're back.
    Please welcome Betsy Brandt and R.J. Mitte!
    [Cheers and Applause]
    CONAN: Wow, we have a lot of ground to cover.
    Thank you so much for being here, for joining us all and congratulations again, on the big win last night.
    Betsy: Thank you.
    CONAN: R.J., I got to ask you I'll start with you, R.J.
    I was thinking about this today and I was thinking a lot of the characters on the show, a lot of the actors have to be worried that their characters will get bumped off.
    Did you feel that Walt Jr. would be safe?
    R.J.: No, I was waiting for my brakes to go out or something happened where Walt Jr. has this horrible lung condition and he slowly dwindled and stays in a hospital.
    No, when you're in the business that this guy is in, darkness is throughout.
    CONAN: You're a really dark group.
    First of all, eliminate a character just on an accident in the show would be so weird.
    Breaks one out accidentally, was it a drug rival?
    No, bad brakes.
    R.J.: We have been too busy making meth and he forgets to change his brakes out.
    CONAN: Betsy, I find that you have something in common with your character, ma ri, which is Marie is known to pilfer an item, steal.
    You have done this on occasion?
    Betsy: A, I don't think it's stealing if it's something you should have.
    Betsy: I stole a spoon on Saturday and I put it in my little glittery handbag for the Emmys and then we won.
    So I have to do that every year.
    CONAN: So where did you steal the spoon from?
    Betsy: I'm so sorry, virgin, America, but I stole it --
    CONAN: You're allowed to take from an airlines.
    Betsy: Are you?
    Those tickets are a lot of money.
    CONAN: A spoon from an airline, no problem.
    Betsy: A little spoon makes it OK.
    CONAN: I have taken trays, I wouldn't worry about it.
    CONAN: Beverage carts.
    I'm going to hang out with you more often.
    CONAN: I often take major equipment from the airlines.
    Betsy: A car.
    CONAN: R.J., we talked about this, not on television, we chatted about this once and you said that you wanted -- there was a wrap party for the show, the big wrap party for the show and that Aaron and Bryan were getting tattoos.
    You really wanted to get a tattoo as well and then your mom got you out of there.
    R.J.: Yes.
    She saw the tattoo gun come out and she was like, OK, it's time for us to go.
    Yeah, I wanted one so badly.
    Bryan: How old are you?
    Aaron: You can still do it.
    Bryan: You can do it.
    Aaron: Come on!
    R.J.: You all can take the responsibility.
    CONAN: That's fine.
    R.J.: Let's do it.
    CONAN: Pressure, an amateurish tattoo parlor in Venice.
    R.J.: You have to do it.
    CONAN: The worst decision you have to make in your life.
    I will get a tattoo if Conan does it?
    Yeah, that's fine, that's a great idea.
    No, you should not have a tattoo.
    Where did you guys get these tattoos?
    Andy: On the hair spray can.
    CONAN: We're going to have to take another break.
    Ladies and gentlemen, when we come back, Jonathan banks and Bob Odenkirk are going to be here.
    Stick around.
    CONAN: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jonathan banks and Bob Odenkirk!
    [Cheers and Applause]
    Bob: It's intimidating to walk behind him.
    CONAN: It is.
    Bob: It's just intimidating.
    CONAN: Good God, Jonathan, let me ask you, we chatted once before.
    Look at the way he is looking at me, ladies and gentlemen.
    This man has a face that says do not mess with me, when in your life did you realize you had this incredible face?
    Jonathan: The first time I ever got hit in the mouth.
    CONAN: Really?
    Jonathan: Really.
    I could look like mother Teresa and I would walk in some place and somebody would say, who do you think you are?
    And they would strike me.
    CONAN: So you had this face and that glare when you were like an 11-year-old boy with a lollypop, is that what you're saying?
    Jonathan: I think it took place more like 4 or 5.
    CONAN: At 4 or 5?
    You were a baby in a crib saying gaga.
    CONAN: Bob, I have to ask you, you were cast in season two.
    Bob: Yes.
    CONAN: And I learned very recently that when you were cast, you had never seen the show.
    Did anyone on the cast catch on?
    Bryan: Oh!
    Bob: Yeah, he was wise to it.
    CONAN: You tried to keep --
    Bob: Here is the deal, I have little kids at home.
    I couldn't put the show on.
    CONAN: I have little kids at home.
    They watch.
    Bob: They do?
    You want the government to hear that.
    Obama will get you.
    Jonathan: The president will not get you.
    CONAN: I don't know what is going on here.
    Bob: Trying to get him a right-wing talk show.
    CONAN: How did they wise up to you, Bob?
    Bob: This guy I would say the name wrong with the wrong emphasis and he would go, you don't watch the show, do you.
    Look, here is the deal.
    I watched it.
    I knew what the tone was.
    I just played Saul Goodman.
    That's all I knew.
    I wanted what he wanted and that was it.
    When my kids got old enough and took a hike and went to summer camp --
    CONAN: I thought they went to the circus or something.
    Once I sold my children, I was able to watch the show.
    Bob: Then I watch it.
    CONAN: Jonathan, you have been known to argue with the writers over grammar.
    It was important to you that your character speak with correct grammar, is that right?
    Jonathan: I thought Mike should help them with the big words, yes, I did.
    CONAN: Give me an example of a fight you had with them.
    Jonathan: Who killed who?
    Well, who killed whom which I believe it's an object preposition and Scnozz refused.
    CONAN: Who was that?
    Jonathan: The writer.
    CONAN: He wouldn't change it.
    Jonathan: Don't dumb Mike down.
    Correct it.
    They wouldn't do it.
    Bryan: Whom didn't?
    CONAN: Bob, we should fess up, you and I have had a bit of history.
    We have known each other 25 years and bob was part of the original writing staff on my show which debuted 20 years ago and we showed this picture the other day on the air.
    There is bob way over on the left-hand side.
    [Cheers and Applause]
    CONAN: What a cool way to come --
    Bob: I finally get on the show.
    CONAN: You were on the show back then.
    You were on the show.
    Bob: I was wearing leggings and tights.
    CONAN: What a ride for you to come back as an integral part of arguably the best drama ever on television.
    I'm so happy for you.
    That is so cool.
    Bob: Thanks.
    I'm proud of you and happy for you.
    CONAN: You just read that off a cue card.
    I did want to have a really nice surprise for all of you.
    We were able to pull some strings and another character is on tonight's show.
    He is a fan favorite, he is surprise from the cast, please welcome, the severed head on a tortoise, come on how the here!
    Come on out!
    Come on out!
    [Cheers and Applause]
    CONAN: Yeah, here he comes!
    He is coming!
    [Cheers and Applause]
    CONAN: Going to take a little while, but he is going to get here.
    Bryan: How long is the show?
    CONAN: We have added another four hours.
    Jonathan: Now Danny, isn't going to appreciate it.
    The cast and creator of "Breaking Bad."
    We're taking a break.
    When we come back, Los Cuates De Sinaloa will be here!
    [Cheers and Applause]
    CONAN: Ladies and gentlemen, during season two of "Breaking Bad," my next guests told the story of Walter white's alter ego with "Ballad of Heisenberg."
    Here to perform that song for us tonight is Los Cuates De Sinaloa!
    [Cheers and Applause]
    Thank you!
    Singing in Spanish.
    [Cheers and Applause]
    Los Cuates De Sinaloa: Thank you!
    CONAN: Yes!
    Thank you!
    That was fantastic!
    Los Cuates De Sinaloa: Thank you!
    CONAN: Los Cuates De Sinaloa, ladies and gentlemen, that is our show.
    Come on over, guys.
    That is our show.
    Our apologies to the cast of "Low Winter Sun," we ran out of time.
    Good night, everybody, and a huge thanks to the cast and creator of "Breaking Bad"!
    Good night, everyone!
    [Cheers and Applause]