1. Cats Who Look Like Ron Swanson

Cats Who Look Like Ron Swanson

The resemblance is so uncanny, even Nick Offerman doesn't know which one is which.


CONAN: Nick, I know you to be a very romantic man.
NICK: Thank you.
CONAN: Valentine's day is --
ANDY: You better talk to him.
CONAN: You two have such a nice connection.
You and your lovely wife Megan me laly have a romantic relationship, any plans?
NICK: We're going to be in Austin.
We're playing a couple of shows in Austin together.
We'll go to one of our favorite restaurants in Austin.
That is our favorite thing to do, make each other laugh and then find some remotely private place to have sex in public.
CONAN: You have talked about this before.
That's something you really like.
You like to have sex in public, in open spaces.
NICK: I like, yeah, we try to choose a place where we can get it started without anybody watching.
It's like peeing, you know.
If anybody is looking, you freeze up, but you get things going and then hopefully some pedestrians happen upon you.
It's thrilling.
CONAN: Now you like it when a crowd gathers, is that what you're looking for?
NICK: A small crowd.
CONAN: Small crowd, what are we talking here?
NICK: 30 to 40.
NICK: We don't want to start a riot.
CONAN: So you're fine with that, OK.
Go to Austin, check this out.
NICK: Don't want it to get out of hand.
CONAN: I might want to wander by and see what is happening.
NICK: 12th and Congress.
ANDY: 12th and Congress.
CONAN: You know, your fans are very devoted.
You have very devoted fans.
They love them some Ron Swanson.
They love your character that you portray on "Parks and Recreation."
NICK: I'm very thankful for that.
CONAN: Why did you say that in such a menacing way?
NICK: It was heartfelt.
It was heartfelt is what that was.
CONAN: OK, I thought you were going to kill me.
CONAN: I'm very grateful for that.
NICK: Don't diss my fans.
CONAN: Your fans are so devoted to you, they now are starting to put up, they are putting up cats that look like Ron Swanson.
Are you familiar with this?
NICK: I have seen some of that.
Yes, I'm very flattered.
CONAN: You should be.
NICK: I am.
CONAN: Some cats look a lot like you.
NICK: Good looking cats.
CONAN: You're a good looking guy, let's take a look.
CONAN: I love that one.
Take a look at another one right here.
Oh, yeah!
CONAN: Number three, yeah, pretty good.
Let's look at the last one.
NICK: Which one is me?
CONAN: I can't even tell which one is you there.
What were you doing in that scene?
NICK: I don't know, that was comedy take number 27.
CONAN: There are only 28.
The Lego movie, my son is obsessed with seeing the Lego movie.
He has been talking about this like it's Haley's comet coming back to earth.
All he does is say to me, Lego movie, when do we see the Lego movie.
You are in the movie as a pirate?
NICK: Yeah, a pirate who lost his body to the bad guy in a previous battle and so he is cobbled together a new body out of a treasure chest and one arm is a shark.
CONAN: Right.
Your character's name is Metal Beard.
NICK: Metal Beard.
CONAN: Was it hard doing a pirate?
Was this a challenge to do a pirate for this?
NICK: You know, like any red-blooded American youth, I grew up doing pirate voices, but the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies have been so popular, I didn't want to land anywhere near any of those pirates.
So I just shut my eyes and tried to imagine what a Lego pirate would sound like.
Then I filtered that, anything I wanted to say, I sort of put it through a Popeye filter and made it kind of unintelligible.
Then I put some marbles in my mouth and here we are.
CONAN: The rest is history and you got a paycheck.
Let's take a look at this clip.
It's mettle beard in the Lego movie.
Let's take a look.
>> I thought you said we were a lost cause?
>> Arr.
Didn't you hear the whole story circumventing the folly of this whole enterprise?
>> It's hard when you're yelling everything.
>> Why did you come back?
>> This bedeviled land couch.
I watched the forces completely overlook it which means we need more ideas like it.
>> Thank you.
>> Ideas so dumb and bad that no one would ever think they would possibly be useful.
>> Oh, thank you.
[Cheers and Applause]
CONAN: I'm looking forward to this movie.