1. Coffee Table Books That Didn't Sell 05/07/13

Coffee Table Books That Didn't Sell 05/07/13

Turns out you can buy Mazes For Idiots for dirt cheap!

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Transcript:

ANDY: Good title.
CONAN: These are coffee table books that nobody wanted.
Maybe we can figure out why nobody wanted them.
This one is called "mazes for idiots."
[Laughter]
These are pretty simple mazes, those two.
If you think that one's simple, check this one in the back.
That's either the easiest maze in the world or the hardest.
If you think about it, dude.
Look at this one, now, this is weird.
That was -- that was --
ANDY: A little undermining.
CONAN: I like it.
A whole book of those.
Have you ever wished you could own a collection --
ANDY: I know, I know, I love it.
CONAN: Have you ever wished you could own a collection of magicians being stabbed by inmates?
Well, now you can with about -- abra cadabra.
Oh, no, no, not him.
Oh, no.
[Laughter]
That is right in the kidneys.
I love abra cadabra.
ANDY: I hope say they it as they do it.
Abra cadabra.
CONAN: Here's one.
"NFL players God loves more than Tim Tebow."
Here's God blocking for Adrian Peterson.
Here he is handing a touchdown to Calvin Johnson.
Here he is guiding Peyton Manning's throw.
And here he is watching Tim Tebow getting sacked and not caring.
Wow.
[Cheers and applause]
ANDY: That's passive-aggressive.
CONAN: OK.
We all know that Bruce banter turns into a hulk, right?
This is a cough feel table book.
It's probably boring.
It's "totally cured Bruce banner."
Here he is doing some light lifting right there.
ANDY: Oh, nice.
CONAN: There he is teaching physics to some students.
What a terrible idea for a coffee table book and for a piece of comedy.
ANDY: Yeah.
[Laughter]
[APPLAUSE]
CONAN: What's that?
That one was sent in by Benedict cumberbatch, by the way.
Blame him.
Don't blame me.
Here's one you're going to like, animals with really bad comeovers.
 -- combovers.
ANDY: He's wondering, is anybody buying this?
There's even vanity in the animal world.
CONAN: This is stoned people laughing at stoned wheat thins.
Here's a guy --
[Laughter]
It's funny.
There's more of that.
Look at this guy.
This guy is so baked right now.
And then I bought this one.
I can't believe this one didn't sell because it might be the best.
The book is called "find the guy with the boner."
[Laughter]
I think I know.
If you can find the guy.
Where is he?
Oh, yeah.
And then finally, well, oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
[Cheers and applause]