1. Conan Hangs Out With His Interns

Conan Hangs Out With His Interns

Conan makes it a point to get to know his interns well -- especially ol' Pencil Guy and Glasses Woman.

[Even more Conan remotes!]

Transcript:

CONAN: Let's face it, the foundation of any show like mine are the
interns.
They do a lot of hard work and they do it for free.
And I'm here with some of our finest interns -- 
>> Danielle.

CONAN: Danielle.

>> Julia.

CONAN: Julia.

>> Evan.

CONAN: Evan.
Pencil -- pencil guy.
Glass woman.
What surprised you when you saw me for the first time?
Kevin?
What surprised you most about me?

>> How fast you are.

CONAN: Pencil guy?

>> First couple of times I saw you behind the scenes you were
wearing this vest.
Sort of like not really a jacket but a vest.
I was very surprised to see that those are still in.

[Laughter]
Here on show so.
-- "Conan."

CONAN: Glass next to pencil guy.
What surprised you when you first saw me?

>> I was surprised how much thought and care went into what
happened during the show.

CONAN: It shocked you that there was a rehearsal process -- 
>> Yeah.

CONAN: And that I put any thought into it?

>> Uh-huh.
In the nicest way possible.

CONAN: Sure, you can say that now.
I'd like to murder you in the night if possible.
Joe?
Is this your favorite late-night show?
And be honest.

>> Uh, you are my favorite personality on the late night show.

CONAN: What's your favorite show?

>> It's hard to say.
I don't really have a favorite.
I know how to do it.

CONAN: You guys have complaints about this job.

>> There's not too much going on in here so the other day I
organized the sugar packets.

CONAN: Organized the sugar packets?

>> Yeah, they're all kind of askew right now but they were -- 
CONAN: Show me what you did.

>> I went through and I stacked them all neatly so they weren't
looking like they were just thrown all in there.
Just make them more accessible.
I won't worry about it.

[Laughter]

CONAN: This is medication is what you have.
Evan?

>> Yes, sir?

CONAN: You know why I remember eplan?
Not just the name tag, although that's helping.
Evan's enthusiasm feeds me.

>> I also got your lunch.

CONAN: You got my lunch today?

>> Yeah.

CONAN: I didn't eat lunch today.

>> Oh, well -- 
CONAN: How'd you get my lunch?

>> They told me to get the boss man's lunch?

CONAN: Who told you to get Conan's lunch?

>> Nick.

CONAN: Who's Nick?
What's a Nick?
Evan, did you tell him to get Conan's lunch?

>> Absolutely.
I did that 
CONAN: But Conan didn't eat lunch.

>> I spoke with Sona.

CONAN: Sona, Evan said hey, I got your lunch today.
I said that's not possible.
I didn't order lunch today.

>> Sometimes in order to get things done quickly for me, I
might use your name to like light a fire.

CONAN: What else are you doing when you use my name?

>> I better not say this.

CONAN: Say it.

>> I once went to a bar and drank too much and couldn't drive
home so I sent interns the next day -- this was a long time ago
-- to pick the car up and I may have said they needed to pick
your car up.

[Laughter]

CONAN: You walked away!
There are people out there who think Conan O'Brien had too much
to drink and couldn't get his car.
What rumors have you heard about me?
Anybody?
Have a good rumor you heard about me?

>> You wear a wig.

CONAN: You wear -- 
CONAN: I wear a wig?
Did you actually hear that?
You heard I wear a wig?

>> Yeah.

CONAN: Would you mind quickly proving to people that it's not a
wig?

>> Yeah.

CONAN: Go.
Don't be afraid.
Pull.
What are you getting?

>> Hair follicles.

CONAN: You're pulling hair out of the skull.
Can you say that with great certainty?
What are you looking for?
It goes back instantly.
Watch.

[applause]
I'm going to do a little roll call, OK?
You guys go to parties.
You're young.
Other people meet you and you talk maybe about what you do and
I'd just like to hear what you might say.

>> Hey, how's it going?

>> OK, how are you?

>> Good, I'm brad.
What's your name?

>> Julia.

>> Julia?
That's a nice name.

>> Thank you.
What are you drinking?

>> Some gin and juice.
I drink a lot.
OK.
So just curious.
What do you do?

>> I work for Conan.

>> Conan O'Brien?

>> Conan O'Brien.
Oh, my god!
You don't get to meet him, right?

>> I meet him all the time.

>> You see him, what's he like?

>> He's really cool.

>> Tell me about it.
What's it like to walk for Conan?

>> He's really tall.
He has a really long stride.

>> OK.

>> Very funny.

CONAN: OK, that's the third thing.
Your first response was he's very tall.
This guy was blown away that you know Conan.
You were like he's very tall and he has a long stride.
Ahhh!
Ahhh!
Ahhh!
You're describing an ostrich.
You guys see what the problem was there?
What did she do wrong?
Forget the sugar packets!

>> How's it going?

>> How are you?

>> Yeah.
What do you do?

>> I work with Conan O'Brien.

>> Ahhh!
Ahhh!
Yo, yo, y on -- yo!
She interns for Conan.
Does he wear a wig?

>> He does not.
He has a full head of hair.
Luscious.

>> How do you know?

>> I touched his hair.

>> Did he ask you to?

>> He actually invited me.

>> He sounds like a pervert.
I'm calling the police.
Police!
End of the line.

>> Hey?

>> Hey, there.
How's it going?

>> Are you a guy or a girl right now?

[applause]

CONAN: Oh, god. Oh, god.

>> Hey.

What was that?
What are you doing?

>> Saying hello.

CONAN: What's with the pencils? What are you, like a nerd or something?

>> No, I just have to write things down.

[speaking gibberish] 

CONAN: I'm about to beat you up. And I'm about to beat the crap out of you unless you can impress me with where you work.

>> I intern for Conan.

CONAN: What the hell!? Conan?
Why are you touching me?
I'm having an orgasm! Why are you touching me? I was orgasming. And you touched me?

If you guys are OK with it, I'd like to right now take you all
out to dinner.
Would you like to go to dinner with me?

>> Yeah.

CONAN: Have dinner with me?

[applause]

CONAN: Thank our interns. They are the best.