1. For Halloween: The Cat-Piloted Decoy Chewbacca

For Halloween: The Cat-Piloted Decoy Chewbacca

CONAN Highlight: Get out of crappy costume parties with the help of cutting-edge Air Force technology and a trio of kitties.

Transcript:

BOY: WHAT SHOULD WE DO FOR HALLOWEEN?
I WAS THINKING WE SHOULD STAY IN, HAVE SOME WINE.
GIRL: WE'RE GO TO ALLISON'S COSTUME PARTY.
BOY: COSTUME PARTY?
GIRL: WE CAN DRESS UP AND ALL MY FRIENDS WILL BE THERE AND NONE OF YOURS WILL.
I GOT TO START PLANNING MY COSTUME.
COLONEL: I'M COLONEL JACK BROWN OF THE UNITED STATES AIR FORCE TOP SECRET RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT DIVISION.
IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A WAY OUT OF GOING TO A COSTUME PARTY THIS HALLOWEEN, WE MAY HAVE THE ANSWER.
IT'S NOT A CHEWBACCA COSTUME BUT A CAT PILOTED DECOY CHEWBACCA.
FOR DECADES WE HAVE BEEN ATTEMPTING TO CREATE A BACK MOUNTED JET BACK.
HOWEVER, THE SINGLE PILOT AIR PROPULSION INITIATIVE RESULTED IN ONE INVENTION, THE ROBOT THAT LOOKS LIKE CHEWBACCA POWERED BY CATS.
UTILIZES HYPERADVANCED ROBOTICS AND PILOTED BY THREE SEMI COOPERATIVE ALMOST TRAINED CATS.
WHY DISMATS THEY'RE -- CATS?
THEY'RE THE ONLY ANIMALS APATHETIC ENOUGH TO HANDLE OPERATING THE ROBOTS.
CATS JUST DON'T CARE.
IT WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOUR HOUSE IN AN INCONSPICUOUS PACKAGE AND YOUR ASSIGNED TEAM OF THREE CAT PILOTS WILL ARRIVE SEPARATELY, POSING AS STRAYS.
REST IS UP TO YOU.
GIRL: HONEY, HURRY UP, WE HAVE TO GO.
BOY: DECOY CHEWBACCA UNDER CAT CONTROL.
GIRL: YOU LOOK AMAZING.
LET'S GO.
COLONEL: NOW FEEL FREE TO SPEND A RELAXING EVENING AT HOME WHILE YOUR CAT PILOTED DECOY CHEWBACCA ATTENDS THE COSTUME PARTY IN YOUR PLACE.
THE DECOY CHEWBACCA CAN BLEND SEAMLESSLY INTO ANY SOCIAL CONVERSATION FROM DANCING TO PARTY CONVERSATIONS.
GIRL: WE'RE BEING SO CATTY.
COLONEL: TO ROMANCE.
A CHEWBACCA ROBOT PILOTED BY CATS.
CALL NOW TO RENT YOUR OWN CAT PILOTED DECOY CHEWBACCA AND YES, YOUR TAXES PAID FOR THIS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
CONAN: THAT'S A FANTASTIC IDEA.