1. This Creepy Cameraman Is Hitting On Conan's Wife

This Creepy Cameraman Is Hitting On Conan's Wife

He's showering her with gifts that he knows she'll love, thanks to his high-powered telescope.

Transcript:

CONAN: As you know, Valentine's Day is coming up.
Someone sent my wife this absolutely beautiful necklace right here.
I don't know if you can see that.
It's really gorgeous and all that came with it is a card.
The card right here and it says "thinking of you this Valentine's Day with all my heart, Clark."
Yeah, exactly -- yeah, thank you.
Kind of my reaction.
The only Clark I know is our cameraman Clark.
CAMERAMAN #1: Guilty as charged, Conan.
CONAN: Clark, let me you think so.
You sent my wife this gift?
CAMERAMAN #1: Not just any gift.
A diamond crusted Tiffany hard pendant in 18-carat gold.
The kind that says you with one special lady and somebody is paying attention.
CONAN: So Clark, you're hitting on my wife.
CAMERAMAN #1: I sent her the gift.
Now the ball is in her court.
CONAN: You have to stop it.
CAMERAMAN #1: Did you see I had her favorite poem engraved on the back?
CONAN: How did you know she realize poetry?
CAMERAMAN #1: You'd be surprised how good telescopes are these day.
CONAN: She's my wife.
CAMERAMAN #1: If she was my wife I'd be at home come --
putting on a different kind of show.
CONAN: That's enough.
CAMERAMAN #1: Come on, Conan, if you love something, set it free.
If it comes home, it will be stinking and smelling of axe body spray.
CONAN: I never heard that before.
CAMERAMAN #1: It's common around my house.
Hey, Terry, did you get my wife a valentine's gift?
CAMERAMAN #2: I sure did.
I'm giving her a three-way.
CAMERAMAN #1: All right, am I invited?
CAMERAMAN #2: Absolutely.
Now it's a four-way.
CONAN: Are you guys even real, cameramen?
Show us what their cameras are pointing at.
Yeah, that's great.
And the other guy.
Yeah, OK.
You know what is the giveaway?
The wigs are a giveaway.
ANDY: What wigs?
CONAN: I think this sketch should end with music.
Alan, play some music and make them dance.
>> CONAN: They're both idiots.
What is that?
That's not even a dance.
That's not a dance.
[applause]