He's showering her with gifts that he knows she'll love, thanks to his high-powered telescope.
CONAN: As you know, Valentine's Day is coming up.
Someone sent my wife this absolutely beautiful necklace right here.
I don't know if you can see that.
It's really gorgeous and all that came with it is a card.
The card right here and it says "thinking of you this Valentine's Day with all my heart, Clark."
Yeah, exactly -- yeah, thank you.
Kind of my reaction.
The only Clark I know is our cameraman Clark.
CAMERAMAN #1: Guilty as charged, Conan.
CONAN: Clark, let me you think so.
You sent my wife this gift?
CAMERAMAN #1: Not just any gift.
A diamond crusted Tiffany hard pendant in 18-carat gold.
The kind that says you with one special lady and somebody is paying attention.
CONAN: So Clark, you're hitting on my wife.
CAMERAMAN #1: I sent her the gift.
Now the ball is in her court.
CONAN: You have to stop it.
CAMERAMAN #1: Did you see I had her favorite poem engraved on the back?
CONAN: How did you know she realize poetry?
CAMERAMAN #1: You'd be surprised how good telescopes are these day.
CONAN: She's my wife.
CAMERAMAN #1: If she was my wife I'd be at home come --
putting on a different kind of show.
CONAN: That's enough.
CAMERAMAN #1: Come on, Conan, if you love something, set it free.
If it comes home, it will be stinking and smelling of axe body spray.
CONAN: I never heard that before.
CAMERAMAN #1: It's common around my house.
Hey, Terry, did you get my wife a valentine's gift?
CAMERAMAN #2: I sure did.
I'm giving her a three-way.
CAMERAMAN #1: All right, am I invited?
CAMERAMAN #2: Absolutely.
Now it's a four-way.
CONAN: Are you guys even real, cameramen?
Show us what their cameras are pointing at.
Yeah, that's great.
And the other guy.
You know what is the giveaway?
The wigs are a giveaway.
ANDY: What wigs?
CONAN: I think this sketch should end with music.
Alan, play some music and make them dance.
>> CONAN: They're both idiots.
What is that?
That's not even a dance.
That's not a dance.