1. Dwayne Perkins Stand-Up 07/25/13

Dwayne Perkins Stand-Up 07/25/13

Dwayne thinks that we might've hit a wall in terms of video game realism.
Get a FREE copy of Dwayne's e-book Hot Chocolate For The Mind on Amazon until 7/29/2013!


Please welcome Dwayne Perkins.
[Cheers and applause]
DWAYNE PERKINS  Ah, thank you so much.
Thank you, guys.
It's so good to be here.
I'm glad to be here with you guys.
You guys are paying attention.
We don't do this anymore.
No one pays attention.
We're just slaves to our devices.
We are.
Sometimes I just want to go back sometimes.
I just want to go back.
You know what I'm saying, lady.
I want to go back.
Not too far back, obviously.
We don't want to go too far.
Just 95.
Nothing crazy.
Because 12 years ago you could be wrongful you said something and the other person was like -- well, that doesn't sound right.
I guess we'll never know.
I guess we'll just have to --
We have to live our lives is the thing that we have to do the problem with the whole thing no matter with how dumb you are, you are dumber on facebook because there's no one there to stop you.
I've got a buddy he wrote a love poem to this girl, OK?
Major fail and it's to a married woman.
Yeah, when I read it.
I was like what are you doing?
Who taught you how to creep?
Use the phone.
Take out student loans.
Get into a grad school.
Study my butt off, get all a's.
Move into the bay area.
Get a masters degree in computer science.
Get a job at facebook just so I could delete his account.
And I get it.
You want to tell people things.
I get it.
But surprises me is why do people care?
That's what changed here.
It's our fault.
We collectively encourage this behavior.
You don't believe me.
Go home tonight, type anything on your page.
Type I like almonds and eight other people will like it.
You understand?
I like almonds too.
Good call on the almonds.
He's right about that.
Almonds are delicious.
He's absolutely right about that.
I'm just glad someone had the courage to say it, actually.
Why is that acceptable?
But leave here tonight and start walking up on people saying I like almonds and they'll arrest you is what will happen.
And I don't -- listen, I'm not -- I don't mean to be a tech know fobe.
I think video games are done.
Think about video games.
Think about the evolution.
First video game ever was called "pong."
Just a ball going across the street.
Hours of enjoyment for the people who were around.
When people saw that, they saw "pong" they said the future is now.
That's what they said.
It got better.
Here's a front stick.
Shut the front door.
Then it got better.
The graphics got better.
Here's a controller.
Fancy, fancy.
Multiple combinations. You are cooking with gas.
Hen the controller was not connected to anything.
It was wireless.
You were like oh, snap.
I'm in the kitchen right now, yo.
Give us that controller back.
Take this skinny thing.
This thing?
This is crazy.
You go bowling with your mom.
Pick out the spare, mom.
Then they said give us that thing back.
Just you.
Just me?
Even funny on TV playing football.
Hut, hut, hut.
Do you see the problem with that?
You could always play football is the thing you have to understand.
[Cheers and applause]
Thank you.
You could play football 50 years ago.
So what was it all for?
30 years of video games for you do be in front of your TV like a jackass dancing?
I think there's one more video system that's going to come out.
One more.
People are going to line up for it.
It will cost 400.
Take that thing home and open it up.
And inside it's going to say, just take your ass outside.
[Cheers and applause]
Thank you, guys.
[Cheers and applause]