1. Kathy Griffin's X-Rated New Years With Anderson Cooper

Kathy Griffin's X-Rated New Years With Anderson Cooper

In Kathy's defense, she was only continuing the tradition of "kissing the sardine."

Transcript:

KATHY: It's like an expensive, fancy show.
I'm not complaining about life over bravo, over in the garage over at bravo.
I'm just saying --
CONAN: In front of a dead moon.
One few odd bulbs out and no one can fix it.
KATHY: You keep my vagina out of this.
The dead moon is doing just fine.
How dare you, sir?
CONAN: Good God.
KATHY: I went there that quickly.
CONAN: This show, this episode won't air.
KATHY: Is this a test webisode?
CONAN: Exactly.
No one will ever see this.
These people are all paid actors.
I want to ask you speaking of getting in trouble, you co-hosted CNN's new year's eve with Anderson Cooper.
You two have a great chemistry.
I enjoy watching you.
KATHY: Thank you.
CONAN: But you got into some trouble, is that right?
Fair to say you got into a little trouble?
KATHY: Oh, because I tried to blow him?
Look, let me tell you something --
[Laughter]
I'm a newswoman.
I'm practically an anchor at CNN at this point.
CONAN: I didn't realize.
KATHY:  Every year Anderson Cooper is like please do something really offensive, please.
And I'm like OK.
Whatever.
And this year there was actually a remote.
During news you go to the shoot of the city.
We were going to east port Maine.
Kind of your old hood.
Very similar area.
CONAN: Couple thousand miles away.
KATHY: Similar, short drive.
And they actually have a thing, yearly tradition where they kiss the sardine.
CONAN: Kiss the sardine.
KATHY:  What happened was -- have have a clip?
CONAN: We have a clip.
KATHY:  I'm not ashamed to say I tried to kiss a sardine.
That's your issue.
CONAN: Why is it my issue?
KATHY: I feel like it's your issue.
CONAN: I stand by it.
Not my issue at all.
I say go for it, man.
But I'm hip with all of that stuff.
I thought had you to write some apologies after this happened.
KATHY:  CNN, every year they fire me.
Oh, yeah, it's my seventh year in a row.
Every January 1 I get fired and they want me to apologize and then I don't.
And then, like at the 11th hour they rehire me but they did get the highest ratings since 2008 and I think it's because I kissed Anderson's sardine.
I really do.
CONAN: Let's take a look at the moment and decide for ourselves.
KATHY:  You tell us nobody's ever gotten sick from kissing the sardines in east port, Maine, 2013 here.
And Canada, 20 miles away, also 2013.
Dual celebration time zone.
Two countries.
[Applause]
CONAN: Poor Anderson!
[Applause]
Anderson Cooper clearly couldn't handedle that.
KATHY: He's just given up heefments beaten down like a pound dog that the point.
He's sitting there like we used to try to rehearse and he would call me the day before and say look, I just got back from Jalalabad.
What do you want to do?
Honestly, he's like I don't eens want to talk to you.
I will see you there.
He knows I'm going to try to pull something.
CONAN: And it looked like you were going back down there --
KATHY: I tried all night to kiss his --
CONAN: Well, that's -- thanks for that.
That and the Charlie brown peering across the river.
Two of the creepiest images I need to see any time soon.
KATHY:  I'm not afraid of the creepy.
CONAN: CNN, you think they're having Bach?
KATHY:  Oh, they will be begging.
I don't know.
I have no idea.
I hope so.
[Laughter]