Kevin Nealon is a stickler for rules; he got carjacked in a rental, so he wanted to go to Hertz to get the crook added as a driver.
KEVIN NEALON: Nice to see you.
CONAN: We're both happy to see each other.
KEVIN NEALON: I was told it was a contest by Andy.
CONAN: No, it is not a contest.
ANDY: Happy to see each other.
CONAN: You have always had a nose for new.
KEVIN NEALON: I do.
CONAN: Over the years you're scouring the paper looking for stories.
What's a story that you loved that's been in the news since we last spoke?
KEVIN NEALON: That is a good question, Conan.
CONAN: What was that?
KEVIN NEALON: This is my news telling story pose right here.
CONAN: All right.
It looked like you have state ventriloquist legs.
I better adjust this for the storytelling part.
CONAN: That's not even real.
KEVIN NEALON: No, it's not.
It's actually a blade.
What's wrong with that?
CONAN: I don't know.
Such a funny area.
KEVIN NEALON: So yeah, do I read the paper a lot.
I watch the news.
But interests are peaked by certain stories.
Not like the story you did about the pope and all that stuff.
CONAN: You didn't like my comedic area.
KEVIN NEALON: No, no, I look for the other areas like the guy who skydived.
He had a space suit made specifically for this dive.
Filmed it and he's free falling for like 24 million miles and he's going faster than the speed of sound.
I'm glad his chute opened up because if he didn't he would have created quite a mess.
You would not want to clean that up.
Probably when they cleaned it up afterwards they would have been leaving they would have heard oh, shhhh --
CONAN: Never seen you act that much.
KEVIN NEALON: Whoo!
CONAN: Well, now you're a guy at a concert.
You always come with --
KEVIN NEALON: Do you see how ambidextrous I am?
CONAN: I do.
KEVIN NEALON: This is the next story pose.
CONAN: Very nice.
You always come with advice.
You know, you --
KEVIN NEALON: I like advice.
CONAN: No, you like to give advice.
KEVIN NEALON: Yeah.
Here's the thing.
You've known me for a while.
CONAN: A long time.
KEVIN NEALON: What's the word I'm looking for?
Confrontational at first.
CONAN: You're adverse to confrontation.
KEVIN NEALON: Even when somebody's playing "angry birds," I'm like, can't they work it out.
The birds and the pigs can't they work it out?
KEVIN NEALON: Yes.
But let me continue.
For me when I have road rage, it's difficult for me to confront people.
So I do it in my own way.
I'm not a fan of people texting in their own car.
And people die from that.
If I'm at a stoplight and I see him texting on his cell phone, I will back into him.
And then I'll get out of the car, dude, you hit me when you were texting.
It's a great way to do it.
You get the guy that pulls up next to you with the stereo playing, hip-hop stuff.
I'm not really a fan o that.
I want my quiet time in the car.
Why do they think we want to hear that music?
Loud and shaking.
Sometimes I like to hold up my favorite book and highlight it.
I know you like Norah Roberts.
CONAN: It's not going to work.
It's not the same thing.
KEVIN NEALON: Yeah, it is.
It's exactly the same thing.