1. The Kardashian-Kanye Fetus Is Still At Large

The Kardashian-Kanye Fetus Is Still At Large

Kimye's unborn spawn is still on the lam, despite a would-be life of luxury.

Transcript:

CONAN: I have an update on kimye and he was spotted in downtown Los Angeles and the police have him cornered and let's go to the scene live and see what's going on.
There's the police.
There's the baby and about to give himself up.
Nope.
He's getting away!
He's making a run for it now!
[LAUGHTER]
CONAN: Oh.
It's awkward.
The police are looking and can't find him -- oh, there he is.
Now he is on a skate board heading away from the police once again.
He is getting away.
Looks like he is making a go for it and heading to the blimp?
Kimye is escaping on a blimp.
Unbelievable.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
CONAN: Unbelievable.
What's that?
The producers are pretending to tell me something.
Doing what?
Act it out some more?
Come on.
Really act it out!
Act it out more.
He's coming this way!
He's headed this way!
Oh my God.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
CONAN: There he is.
Kimye.
He has little goggles and now headed out of the studio.
Good-bye, kimye.
Good-bye!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
CONAN: Stupidest thing I have ever seen.
I have to say though, what a brave kid.
Think about it, he is made out of love, but that is incredible.
He is willing to give up hundreds of millions of dollars and a life of absolute luxury.
Whoa!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
CONAN: That was a happy ending.
ANDY: Like an episode of “Entourage,” everything worked out.