Conan's "Orange Is the New Black" Cold Open

August 04, 2014

CONAN Highlight: Conan gears up for the ladies of Litchfield Correctional Facility with a special new beauty consultant.

TranscriptPA: Hey, Conan, Carol called in sick. Somebody new will be doing your hair tonight. This is Sophia. [Applause] I don't know who did that weave for you, put you need your money back. CONAN: This is my real hair. LAVERNE COX: that's cute. This is my real hair too. Are you married to this whole style thing you got going here? CONAN: I have had my hair like this 30 years. LAVERNE COX: You need to understand you're turning off a huge segment of the demographic you could be reaching. People are afraid of clowns, OK. I'm scared just looking at you. No Bozo 2.0, OK? No Bozo. Thank you thought about a wave in a different color, something warm and more inviting? CONAN: I don't know what that is. LAVERNE COX: Coco, I really do admire you. CONAN: Oh, thank you very much. LAVERNE COX: You really an inspiration. The very first transgender talk show host. [Laughter] CONAN: I'm not transgender. LAVERNE COX: But your voice is hiring than mine. You're not transitioning? CONAN: No, this is my real voice. I'm a man. LAVERNE COX: Whatever you say, Bruce Jenner. [Laughter] OK, all done. CONAN: How do I look? ANDY: You look absolutely ridiculous! [Laughter] Andy? ANDY: Fierce. [Cheers and Applause] THEME MUSIC [Cheers and Applause]

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