Conan Plays "World Of Warcraft" At BlizzCon 13

November 21, 2013

Conan provides color commentary for the championship game -- which he doesn't understand in the slightest.

TranscriptCONAN: I'M AT BLIZZCON 13. MAN: THAT'S RIGHT. CONAN: WHICH CELEBRATES WORLD OF WAR CRAFT. MAN: AMONG OTHERS. CONAN: I'M HERE LATE. I WENT TO BLITZCON 13 WHICH IS A CELEBRATION OF WOLF BLITZER. IS THIS GUY WEARING A WOLF OR IS HE IN THE PROCESS OF BEING SWALLOWED BY A WOLF. THE WOLF IS LIKE I'VE GOT IT, I'VE GOT IT. I'VE GOT IT. GOT IT. THIS PROBABLY HAPPENED WHERE PLAYERS HAVE MET ONLINE AND SUBSEQUENTLY BECOME INVOLVED. HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF THAT? MAN: MY WIFE WOULD OBJECT. CONAN: HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR WAIVE? MAN: PLAYING WORLD IN WAR CRAFT. CONAN: WHAT CHARACTER WAS SHE MAN: SHE WAS A TROLL AND A DEAD RAT AND VERY ATTRACTIVE. CONAN: THIS COULD BE A GREAT STORY FOR YOUR GRANDCHILDREN. LET ME TELL YOU HOW YOUR GRANDMOTHER AND I MET. YOU WILL TAKE ME THROUGH THE GAME. LET'S BEGIN. THIS GUY, HE'S STANDING STILL BUT SEEMS OUT OF BREATH. I'M GUESSING HE HAS ONE LUNG. WHO IS THIS GUY? MAN: HE IS A DWARF. CONAN: YOU KNOW, I PREFER A LITTLE PERSON. MAN: HE IS A HUNTER AND THAT IS HIS BEAR. HIS BEAR IS ALSO BREATHING HEAVILY AND SEEMS TO BE IN HEAT. WHO IS YOUR SEXIEST? MAN:: THERE IS A CONTINGENT OF PEOPLE WHO APPRECIATE THE FEMALE. SHE HAS A LITTLE TAIL. YOU CAN TURN HER AROUND. CONAN: SO I CAN CHECK OUT HER BUTT. IT FEELS REALLY CREEPY. HOW MANY PEOPLE JUST CLICK ON THE GIRL CHARACTER AND SLOWLY TURN HER AROUND? MAN: I THINK AT SOME POINT PEOPLE ARE READY FOR THE NEXT STEP. CONAN: I WILL NOT MOVE ON FROM THIS STEP. WE WILL STICK RIGHT HERE. MAN: YOU PICK A RACE. CONAN: I WILL GO WITH MALE. MAN: GREAT. HERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD. CONAN: HOW DO I FIND THE BANNER? MAN: CLICK THAT BUTTON. CONAN: WHERE DO YOU GO? MAN: YOU ARE INSIDE THAT GUY. CONAN: I DON'T WANT TO BE INSIDE A GUY. MY GETTING TO THE EXIT? MAN: THIS IS A PRECIPICE BUT YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO JUMP OFF AND HIT THE SPACE BAR. CONAN: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? IT IS BORING. MAN: YOU DIED. CONAN: HOW DID I DIE? MAN: YOU WENT OFF THE CLIFF. CONAN: I'M ARMORED TO THE HILT. LOOKS LIKE HE HAS NINE-INCH SKIN AND HE JUST JUMPED INTO SNOW AND HE IS DEAD. MAN: IT WAS A LARGE CLIFF. CONAN: NOT THAT LONG A FALL. MAN: DO YOU WANT TO KILL THIS? CONAN: DO A FRIENDLY? MAN: CAN'T DO FRIENDLIES. CONAN: IN LIFE YOU CAN. MAN: OK, SO HERE IS THIS GUY AND ALL THESE ARE REAL PLAYERS WHO ARE ACTUALLY PLAYING. CONAN: HELLO, HOW ARE YOU? THAT PERSON JUST WALKED AWAY AND DIDN'T ANSWER. THAT IS ENRAGING ME. CAN YOU SPELL LANGUAGE? MAN: YES. CONAN: HEY, DICK. I ASKED YOU A QUESTION. WHERE IS HE? MAN: HE RAN AWAY. CONAN: HE IS NOT DEALING WITH ME AT ALL. HEY, DICK. I ASKED YOU A FREAKING QUESTION. MAN: HE MAY NOT ACTUALLY KNOW YOU ARE TALKING TO HIM. CONAN: OH, THERE HE IS. YOU MAD? I'M GOING TO OPEN A CAN OF WHUP-ASS. YOU THINK I'M JOKING? I'M GOING TO -- WHERE DID HE GO? WHAT IS THIS? I'M IN HERE WITH A WORLD OF WAR CRAFT TEAM, RIGHT? PLAYER: YES. CONAN: WHAT CHARACTER DO YOU PLAY? PLAYER: I PLAY A DRUID. CONAN: WHAT ARE YOU? I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD OF THAT. WILL YOU DIE TODAY OR DO YOU THINK YOU WILL NOT DIE? PLAYER: WE WILL NOT DIE. CONAN: I DIDN'T THINK I WOULD DIE AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ME? I FELL INTO THE SNOW. WHO DIES FALLING INTO THE SNOW. WHAT DID I DO WRONG? PLAYER: IS YOUR FAULT. CONAN: GOOD LUCK. HOW DO YOU SAY GOOD LUCK IN GERMAN. I JUST TRIED NINE TIMES. THAT IS WONDERFUL. ANNOUNCER: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME BACK TO BLIZZCON. WE ARE HERE FOR THE WORLD OF WAR CRAFT. WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST WITH US TODAY. "CONAN O'BRIEN." CONAN: THANK YOU, ADAM, JOE. GREAT TO BE HERE. ANNOUNCER: HOW MUCH DO YOU KNOW ABOUT WORLD OF WAR CRAFT? CONAN: I PLAYED IT FOR ABOUT 16 MINUTES. I WAS KILLED WE I -- WE I WAS FALLING IN A SNOW BANK. ANNOUNCER: IF YOU ARE FOLLOWING ON TWITTER USE THE HASH TAG BLIZZCON. CONAN: IF YOU ARE WATCHING YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GET YOUR OWN APARTMENT EVENTUALLY. THEY ARE ENTERING THIS LARGE CHAMBER WHICH SEEMS TO HAVE A STONE FLOOR. FASCINATING CHOICE OF FLOOR. I HAVE SEEN A LOT OF FLAME AND FIRE AND RUNNING AROUND. ALL PLAYING OUT AT THIS SITE. INCREDIBLE. DID YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED? CONAN: I HEARD THE CROWD REACTION. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BUT I ACTED AS IF I HAD. I HAVE NO IDEA WHO WON. WOULD YOU TELL ME QUICKLY? ANNOUNCER: IT IS INTERESTING WITH FLASH I THINK IT WAS THE WAR LOCK THERE THAT THEY BROUGHT IN. THEY BROUGHT IN THE CHAMIN. DIDN'T SURPRISE ANYBODY. WAS ABLE TO BRING A CERTAIN SET OF SKILLS. THEY MIGHT GET THE BUBBLE OUT OF HIM. GOES DOWN TO 2-K. I'M NOT SURE IF HE STILL HAD HIS BUBBLE OR NOT. I DON'T THINK HE DID HAVE HIS BUBBLE. YOU HAVE THE PULL DOWN AND YOU CAN CAST A SPELL -- CONAN: YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT TO ME. I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW WHO WON. SNOW EXPECTED THROUGH THE WEEKEND. HUGE DAMAGE THERE. NOT LOOKING GOOD. PROBABLY GOING TO GO DOWN THERE. THERE YOU HAVE IT. THERE YOU HAVE IT. WOW! DON'T HAVE TO DUMB IT DOWN FOR ME. GENTLEMEN, THANK YOU SO MUCH. I WANT TO THANK THE CROWD FOR BEING HERE AND, UH, WHAT CAN I SAY? IT IS ALL ABOUT THIS GAME. ANNOUNCER: WORLD OF WAR CRAFT. CONAN: WORLD OF WAR CRAFT, YEAH. [APPLAUSE]

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