1. Zomb-Ease Orthopedic Shoes For Zombies

Zomb-Ease Orthopedic Shoes For Zombies

CONAN Highlight: At long last, the walking dead can stroll in style!

Transcript:

>> Come on, come on!
[Scary music]
>> It's tough being a zombie.
If it's not your constant hunger for human flesh or the slow decomposition of your body, it's foot problems!
Hi, I'm Dr. Gary blunt, licensed podiatrist and zombie apocalypse survivor.
Did you know that 100% of zombies deal with persistent foot-related aggravation?
Take a look at how the average zombie walks.
The feet buckle in towards the middle, zero arch support.
It's a real mess.
That's why I created these, Zomb-ease orthopedic shoes for the undead.
It has built-in orthotics that self-adjust as your feet rot.
If you're going to be stuck in a hellish limbo, you might as well walk straight.
Try these shoes and just 28 days later, you'll see major results.
Turn that slow shuffle into a walk.
People will still be terrified of you, but they'll also be impressed.
>> Nice shoes.
>> Don't take it from me.
Listen to these satisfied customers.
[Growling]
>> I know what you're thinking, why would a human doctor create a product that helps zombies? And how would zombies even pay for this product?
Well, the fact is --
>> Take it from me, Dr. Blunt, don't settle for the shoes you died in.
Order Zomb-ease orthopedic shoes and get a new lease on --
death.
Zomb-ease orthopedic shoes will not make you faster.
Your existence will be slightly more comfortable.
Cheers and Applause]