1. Anthony Jeselnik Is Sumner Redstone's Mouthpiece

Anthony Jeselnik Is Sumner Redstone's Mouthpiece

The octogenarian Viacom CEO calls up Anthony and demands he do at least 10 9/11 jokes per show.


CONAN: You're enjoying it?
I'm so excited to have my own show.
I get to do things like most shows can't do.
You have standards and practices that tells you what you can or can't say.
I don't have that.
After the first show I was like we did it.
That's so great.
Like yeah, you have nine more this season and I kind of panicked a little bit.
I was like oh, my god.
I feel like doing your show is fun.
Having a show, not as much fun.
It's more pressure.
CONAN: Yeah, you show up every day.
ANTHONY JESELNIK: You do this four days a week?
CONAN: Yeah.
ANTHONY JESELNIK: If you did it once every two months wouldn't you be happier?
CONAN: I wouldn't show up.
It's the rhythm of the thing.
If someone said Conan, you're only responsible for one a year, I would be drunk.
I wouldn't show up for it.
ANTHONY JESELNIK: That's what I want.
That would be perfect.
CONAN: Your show is edgy.
Has the network asked you to tone it down a bit?
It's weird because comedy central is owned by vaacom, a giant corporation.
I get a call almost every day saying Anthony, you're the face of the franchise.
We need you to be edgier.
CONAN: He's like the face of the world.
He's like why haven't you talked about 911 yet?
He's like you're the face of the company.
Make more 911 jokes, and he'll send me 10 to 12 jokes he's written and make me do them.
CONAN: I think we have a picture mer of Sumner redstone.
This guy is calling you up.
ANTHONY JESELNIK: He looks like the guy who married Anna Nicole Smith.
Very edgy guy.
Very offensive.
CONAN: He's an offensive man?
ANTHONY JESELNIK: Insanely offensive, yeah.
If I called you on the show you would say "hello request.
He used the n-word.
CONAN: What?
Sum mer redstone?
CONAN: Have you got a lawyer?
ANTHONY JESELNIK: I'm going to have to get one.
CONAN: You say a lot of unflattering things about your family.
ANTHONY JESELNIK: Yes, throw them all under the bus.
CONAN: Did they get upset?
ANTHONY JESELNIK: They did at the beginning.
Someone walked up to my mother and said I didn't know you competed on your husband.
She said Anthony, I I've never cheated on my husband.
Why are you saying this?
Now that I've become insane lip famous, everyone wants me to talk about them.
My Uncle says I want you to put me in a joke.
I'll do him in a joke, I'll call him and say Uncle toll, what did you think of that yolk zphoo
He'll be like thanks.
CONAN: What did he say?
ANTHONY JESELNIK: He's a public school -- didn't work out so well.
CONAN: You came to fame doing roasts for comedy central.
You enjoy the roasts?
You sometimes have to follow tough acts.
ANTHONY JESELNIK: They always make my -- me follow whoever they think is going to do the worst.
Because I have short jokes.
They'll put me an Mike Tyson, who's kind of reading a poem for 20 minutes or put me after the situation.
Like a disaster. They always put me in the worst part possible because think --
they think I can clean it up.
Which I do.
CONAN: You're quite confident.
ANTHONY JESELNIK: Yeah, I just have a proven track record that I can go back to.
CONAN: Is it true that you did a show for the boys and girls club, am I right about that?
ANTHONY JESELNIK: Unfortunately.
I don't get asked to do a lot of charity benefits but the boys and girls club said hey, would you come do this, we'll give you some money?
This was back in the day when I didn't get paid for a lot of stuff.
I said yeah, I'll do I -- it but are you sure?
They said yeah.
I said here's a clip of me.
Watch it.
They said yeah, we want you.
I said watch it again with the sound all the way up.
So I went and did it and people were very upset.