Conan & Dave Franco Join Tinder

July 17, 2014

CONAN Highlight: Conan & Dave are on a mission to meet beautiful women, with the help of the dating app Tinder and a sweet set of wheels. Watch The Outtakes From The Tinder Remote!

Related:PHOTOS: Conan & Dave Franco Join Tinder
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TranscriptCONAN: For months now I have been listening to all of the young people in my office talk about tinder. A social networking site where you can find people in your area you have never met, they're in your vicinity and they're ready to meet and maybe hook up. Naturally, because I'm a creep, I'm intrigued to find out about this but I didn't want to do it alone. So I got the help of a young, hot Hollywood stud, Mr. Dave Franco. CONAN: Hey, Dave? Thank you for being here. [Applause] You and I are going to explore tinder together. You OK? You seem a little nervous. DAVE FRANCO: I'm a little nervous. CONAN: What are you nervous about? DAVE FRANCO: It's going to get weird. CONAN: It's not going to get weird at all. Together -- I think you have your camera on. You were just taking a picture of your crotch. I'm not kidding. You were shooting your crotch. Dave, we're going to go on tinder. DAVE FRANCO: All right. CONAN: The way we start is we build our profiles. Now, my suggestion is because we're known people and clearly very desirable, maybe we should go by different names. DAVE FRANCO: I like that. CONAN: But I think we should still use our pictures so when these ladies or men that we meet -- because that's how it's really going to go when we switch to grinder -- [Laughter] After a half hour and few drinks -- DAVE FRANCO: To clarify, you know nothing about tinder but know the existence of grinder? CONAN: I know grinder. Whenever you don't see me on television, I'm on grinder. DAVE FRANCO: I know where you are. CONAN: Let's build our profiles. DAVE FRANCO: Shall I do the classic, you're taking the picture and I'm having a great time? CONAN: That looks like your masturbating. DAVE FRANCO: It is? CONAN: I took good photos of you. You get some of me. Women like a guy who's busy, who's got things to do. [Laughter] Make up a name. I will be Chip Whitley. DAVE FRANCO: I like that. Remember that? CONAN: Because if we get in the zone and the deal is about to go down, don't want them to freeze up and say Conan, what's my name? DAVE FRANCO: Chip Whitley. CONAN: What's your name? [Laughter] DAVE FRANCO: Jiangous? ...Djengus? CONAN: Djengus Roundstone? I will lie a little bit about my age. DAVE FRANCO: Do it. CONAN: You realize what we're doing now is something that's probably that's never been done before, we are lying on the internet. CONAN: I am 42 years old. And people tell me I look like Conan O'Brien. DAVE FRANCO: I enjoy wearing crocs for their style over the comfort. And I -- I look like a poor man Franco. CONAN: That is fantastic. I like Chai lattes. That's something a woman would like, right? cHai lattes and showering. You're screwing me up here. I love chai lattes and showering. DAVE FRANCO: My first one is Monique. Not looking for D.T.F. CONAN: That's down to [BLEEP]. DAVE FRANCO: You talk that way at home? CONAN: You asked me. I'm not going with Robin. I will say no to Paulette. I will be picky at first. DAVE FRANCO: I'm going on a string of yeses. CONAN: I'm going yes to Liza. I think that's my wife's name. I think that's sweet I would say yes on tinder to someone with the same name as mother of my children. DAVE FRANCO: What are you looking for over there? CONAN: What do you think I'm looking for? Special somebody that will change my life for a period of like 20 minutes. [Laughter] DAVE FRANCO: Sure. CONAN: We're not getting the same people. DAVE FRANCO: I am not getting 50-year-olds. I think we should switch for a little bit. [Laughter] Gloria -- CONAN: It's a match! DAVE FRANCO: Gloria! CONAN: You hit on my phone -- You were my phone 15 seconds -- DAVE FRANCO: Gloria, 74. CONAN: 74! Age is just a number! Should sent me -- I should talk in an older voice. Hello there, Gloria! Fresh as the old due bop, you are. I have not heard back from the 74-year-old woman I agreed to meet. Should I write I am so lonely? [Laughter] I just corrected I am and turned it into Obama. President Obama is spending this. -- is sending this. Look, I just got a message from Gloria. She said cheer up. I said I'm so lonely. Cheer up. [Laughter] I'm being consoled! By a 74-year-old woman! How about you could help me cheer up in person. [Laughter] Match! Let me see. All right! Yeah! [Laughter] I like Tammy. Make this happen. [Laughter] DAVE FRANCO: Gloria! CONAN: Gloria's saying yes to you! Wait, Gloria! Me! [Applause] Gloria turned me down and said yes to you. CONAN: Sona, my assistant, get in here. CONAN: You guys do that. I'm going to write Gloria in a way that she will understand. [Laughter] Dear Gloria, I tried you on tinder without success. So I am going it the old-fashioned way. DAVE FRANCO: We have a little bit of inequality here in how we're scoring. CONAN: How many matches have you had so far? DAVE FRANCO: Nine maybe. CONAN: Nine. You know how many I had? One! Gloria, she's in her 70's and quickly dropped me. You know what the flaw with this app is, I wish there was a way we could know their address even if they didn't want us to know it. And we could go there and make them like us. [Laughter] Courtney's beautiful. Seven miles away. >> This is the one. >> This is good. >> This is a good one. >> Great, send. I said hey, this is Dave Franco. I'm doing a bit with Conan O'Brien. Would you be interested in meeting up with us? She said that is a hell of a pickup line, L.O.L. CONAN: Courtney's in. Did you get an address? DAVE FRANCO: Yes! CONAN: OK! Phase two. This is our tinder van. What do you think? [Laughter] DAVE FRANCO: You know what, I think very inviting. CONAN: This thing says we're on the hunt. We're on the prowl. We're on the prowl. DAVE FRANCO: Let's say things take off for me. CONAN: You would watch me -- [Laughter] This is how I do it. I'm like a bug that's trapped. DAVE FRANCO: That's what it is. CONAN: I think Courtney is going to love this van. DAVE FRANCO: We should probably get rid of the duct tape. [Laughter] CONAN: Coming, Courtney! DAVE FRANCO: Courtney! CONAN: How are you? We would love to but we're going to meet a girl we met on tinder. Oh, yeah, pretty hot. We have to have a nickname for this van. I call this brown lightning. DAVE FRANCO: Brown lightning! CONAN: Brown lightning sounds like a symptom. DAVE FRANCO: Brown lightning -- CONAN: An intestinal disorder. I will make it clear, they use the duct tape to put the cameras in. So it's an unfortunate accident it's in the car. We will get rid of it. DAVE FRANCO: I wish I could say I saw duct tape on any of these cameras. [Laughter] CONAN: I have never more felt like a murderer on the prowl than I do right now. This doesn't feel good. DAVE FRANCO: OK. Ways going to ask you if you liked that feeling or -- DAVE FRANCO: There's part of my that almost feels like a second skin. Very natural. All right. Courtney, how are you? You're beautiful. DAVE FRANCO: Thank you. CONAN: Look at you. I'm Conan. DAVE FRANCO: Courtney, nice to meet you. Dave. COURTNEY: Nice to meet you. CONAN: Hi! [Laughter] COURTNEY: You guys want to come in the yard or -- CONAN: Trying to -- OK. How is that? [Laughter] This is nice. Oh, wow, I love your house. You responded to this gentleman. What is it you liked about him? DAVE FRANCO: Let me clarify though from your perspective I was Djengus Roundstone, 38 years old. COURTNEY: Right. CONAN: And -- you... DAVE FRANCO: You like that? [Laughter] CONAN: You like that name? What about my name, Chip Whitley. COURTNEY Don't know about that one. DAVE FRANCO: I wanted to throw a d at Djengus. CONAN: Why does everybody like him everybody likes him! Hold on a second, you just said he's got the natural look. What's wrong with what -- DAVE FRANCO: You are -- CONAN: Speak for yourself! Goofy! I'm going for Clint eastwood. Look at that. DAVE FRANCO: Slower. Slow it down. CONAN: I'm moving in like nine dimensions now. Courtney, be honest, watch this -- COURTNEY: OK. DAVE FRANCO: This is actually the quickest he's gotten that open. Look at that. CONAN: Courtney, would you like to grab a seat, get in. DAVE FRANCO: Don't mind the duct tape. CONAN: Oh, no, this is not -- this is for mounting cameras. Would anyone like some champagne? [Laughter] What do you think, is it good? DAVE FRANCO: At what point -- CONAN: I'm doing better with you than with anybody I have tried to meet on tinder tonight. What's your name? MARCUS: Marcus. CONAN: You want to see a movie or something? MARCUS: You a paying? CONAN: Sure. I got Marcus. Marcus is with me. You got Courtney. DAVE FRANCO: Right. CONAN: We're good. This is what the internet can do. It can bring a bunch of people who were strangers just an hour ago together in the night on to the street outside a really creepy van, where they hold themselves for a little too long and probably never see each other again. Love you guys! [Cheers and Applause] My thanks to Dave Franco, amazing guy and thanks to Courtney. More from my night with Dave Franco go to TeamCoco.com. Great show tonight!