1. Terrible Kentucky Derby Horse Names

Terrible Kentucky Derby Horse Names

CONAN Highlight: "Orb" is a cool name for a racehorse. "Timothy's Weak Erection" is not.

Transcript:

CONAN: The Kentucky Derby was this past weekend.
I believe two of you saw it.
The race was won by a thoroughbred named "orb."
I love that name, orb.
ANDY: Orb, yeah.
CONAN: The greatest name.
Orb.
And a good race horse always has a good name.
Orb.
Golden soul.
Revolutionary.
These are terrific names.
I was watching some of the lower stakes races earlier in the day.
With the slower less exciting horses.
I noticed their names are just not as inspiring.
For example, there's a horse drunk toddler.
I don't know if you saw him.
There's this horse, O.J.'s alibi.
[laughter]
there's this horse, Mexican jury duty.
I don't know -- look at this one.
The rash came back.
[laughter]
there's Timothy's weak erection.
[laughter]
ANDY: Coming down the stretch it's Timothy's weak erection.
He looks like he's trying so hard.
[laughter]
CONAN: There's my ex-wife's unreasonable demands.
That's a tough name.
There's increasingly fat Dan Aykroyd.
There's disturbing German pornography.
There's D.J. quams' chest X-rays.
-- Qualls' chest X-rays.
Ununredeemed $5 RadioShack gift card.
[cheers and applause]
these are not good horse names.