1. Bill Burr: "Paula Deen Is A $100 Million Whale"

Bill Burr: "Paula Deen Is A $100 Million Whale"

CONAN Highlight: Bill knows that Paula makes people too much money to just disappear, so he suggests creating The Disgrace Channel.


BILL BURR: Paula Deen might be like next door having some weird party.
BILL BURR:  She's in a strange situation now that the hammer came down.
She's basically like a $100 million whale just sitting there.
That's not a fat joke.
That's a gambling thing.
She'll make you a hundred million dollars.
And she's just sitting there on the beach, rights?
They have to figure out what is the acceptable amount of time after someone drops the n word or admits to it that you can bring them back on TV to make cookies.
CONAN: So you're saying she's going to come back?
BILL BURR: Dog the bounty hunter.
Three months.
He got a three-month suspension and after three months he was back on TV and some of the guys he was chasing were African-American and no one had a problem wilt.
CONAN: So everyone says I'm so sorry, we want nothing more to do with you.
BILL BURR: First, you get caught and then tough people who are like professionally outraged.
They can't even get it out -- what kind of a, a person -- which is just wrong, wrong -- they do that for like three days and then you have to cry.
Try to make some cockamamie story up that you're not a psycho and then you just sit there and wait for the phone to ring because you know you can make people money.
That's all it's about.
They should just have a channel for people who screw up.
Just put them on that.
I don't understand firing somebody, like that's going to make them somehow help the problem.
Like that dude on ESPN.
He said that stuff against gay people so then he gets fired.
How does that help his homophobia?
You put him on the street.
He's out there drinking booze, probably saying even more homophobic stuff.
You know?
Like put him on a channel.
The disgraced channel or something, right?
You know?
Then you're in like the penalty box.