1. Steven Ho & Conan Defend Against Killer Produce

Steven Ho & Conan Defend Against Killer Produce

We're not sure what kind of thugs would brandish a baked potato, but Conan & Steven are prepared for them.

Transcript:

CONAN: Let's move on to a weapon.
STEVEN HO: Every super hero has to have a women.
Michelangelo has a -- I don't know.
CONAN: Nunchuks.
STEVEN HO: Nunchuks.
We have world nunchuk champion Delmon Nunez.
So back out of the way.
[Cheers and applause]
CONAN: That was amazing.
It's fantastic.
So I'm going to do what she just did?
It took her a lifetime.
Oh, do that.
OK.
What do I do?
STEVEN HO: We don't have a lot of time.
So I'm going to give you a proper grip so you don't hit yourself on the head.
CONAN: Choke up on it.
STEVEN HO: This is illegal but you should check with your local authorities before practicing at home.
CONAN: How about hitting a guy with a paddle repeatedly.
STEVEN HO: Stop at your arm right there.
Hit yourself twice.
It shouldn't hurt.
And then double back up again.
CONAN: Double, double.
And then -- double, double, up.
STEVEN HO: Left right double.
CONAN: Double, double, up.
Toosh, toosh.
[Cheers and applause]
STEVEN HO: Let's get the scene in here.
I want you to focus on your accuracy.
CONAN Accuracy.
STEVEN HO:This is a quick demonstration -- if this is the apple you're going to do the same move and then one, two and then split it.
Be on your toes.
I will call out --
CONAN: Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
I'm in an alley and I've been attacked by people with -- with various food.
We have an apple here, a potato over here --
STEVEN HO: Baked potato.
CONAN: The most lethal weapon.
A pineapple.
And these guys have sandwiches on sticks.
What kind of sandwiches are these?
STEVEN HO:These are Turkeys.
And this is Turkey on wheat.
CONAN: So the ham would be more lethal.
STEVEN HO: Remember your focus, remember your hero poses.
CONAN: I'm in an alley.
These members of a weird gang.
STEVEN HO: Baked potato, go!
CONAN: Which one's ham?
Which one's ham?
[Laughter]
[APPLAUSE]
Pineapple!
Pineapple!
[Laughter]
You two are OK?
Give me a hug.
I almost killed you.
Give me a hug.
[APPLAUSE]
Oh, man, that would have been real bad.
I had to kill her.
I was being threatened by a pineapple.
Want this now?
Your weapons are crap, by the way.
STEVEN HO: Let's go for the pineapple.
CONAN: Pineapple, ahh!
Hold it still!
Apple!
At last!
Behind you!
Ahh!
[Cheers and applause]
Scare crow!
Scare crow!
CONAN: What the hell is that?
STEVEN HO: Kick the scare crow!
Skip the bat!
Don't touch the scare crow!
[Cheers and applause]
CONAN: OK.
I learned nothing.
We almost killed some people in the crowd.
And I'm mortally wounded by a scare crow as you can tell.
That was absolutely fantastic.
Thank you so much.
Steven ho.
You're a good man.