1. Zooey Deschanel Loves To Be Prepared For A Disaster

Zooey Deschanel Loves To Be Prepared For A Disaster

She's got an earthquake go-bag, but made sure that the food isn't so delicious that she'd be tempted to snack from it.

Transcript:

CONAN: YOU'RE VERY PARTICULAR ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL: YES, I AM.
CONAN: AND NOT JUST THE FASHION SENSIBILITY.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL:  IT GOES FAR BEYOND FASHION.
CONAN: TELL US WHAT YOU MEAN BY THAT?
ZOOEY DESCHANEL:  YOU HAVE TO DRESS SO YOU CAN MAKE A QUICK GETAWAY.
CONAN: A GETAWAY?
ZOOEY DESCHANEL:  IT'S IMPORTANT.
YOU KNOW WHO'S AFTER YOU, YOU KNOW?
YOU MIGHT HAVE TO RUN SOMEWHERE.
CONAN: RIGHT.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL:  SO I TRY TO AS MUCH AS I CAN DRESS APPROPRIATELY.
CONAN: APPROPRIATELY SO THAT YOU CAN FLEE.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL:  SO I CAN FLEE.
CONAN: FLEE AT ANY MOMENT.
THAT MEANS NO HIGH HEELS.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL:  RIGHT NOW I'M WIRING HEELS BUT IN LIFE, FLAT SHOES, A BAG THAT'S STRAPPED ACROSS, AGILE CLOTHING SO THAT I CAN RUN.
CONAN: I LOVE THAT WE'RE BOTH DOING THIS.
WHO'S COMING AFTER YOU?
ZOOEY DESCHANEL:  I DON'T KNOW.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT IT COULD HAPPEN.
CONAN: IT COULD HAPPEN.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL:  YOU JUST NEVER KNOW.
IT MIGHT JUST BE THAT YOU NEED TO GET SOMEWHERE QUICKLY.
CONAN: ARE YOU THE KIND OF PERSON THAT WHEN YOU ENTER A SITUATION, LIKE A ROOM, YOU CASE IT OUT A LITTLE BIT.
IS THERE A WINDOW, IS THAT REAL?
COULD I SWIM AWAY?
ZOOEY DESCHANEL:  WHERE ARE THE EXITS.
I'M GENERALLY A PREPARED PERSON.
I HAVE AN EARTHQUAKE KIT.
DO YOU HAVE AN EARTHQUAKE KIT?
CONAN: I DO.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL:  DO YOU HAVE A TENT?
CONAN: NO, MY PLAN IS TO TAKE OVER SOMEONE ELSE'S HOUSE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAVE A TENT.
ANDY, DO YOU HAVE A TENT AND THE WHOLE THING.
ANDY: SORT OF.
I FIGURE WE'LL SIFT THROUGH THE WRECKAGE TO GET WHAT WE NEED.
CONAN: I'VE BURIED A LOT OF WINE AROUND MY HOUSE.
I'M GOING TO BE THE GUY WANDERING AROUND COMPLETELY TRASHED.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL:  DO YOU HAVE GOOD BURYING PLACES FOR THEM?
ARE THEY WELL HIDDEN?
CONAN: I'M NOT TELLING YOU.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL:  WHERE EXACTLY ON YOUR PROPERTY ARE THE WIPE -- WINE BOTTLES.
ANDY: THEY'RE UNDER THE SIGN THAT SAYS "WINE" WITH AN ARROW.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL:  THREE FEET DEEP.
CONAN: YOU HAVE TWO NEW DOGS?
ZOOEY DESCHANEL:  I DO.
CONAN: WHAT KIND OF DOGS DO YOU HAVE?
ZOOEY DESCHANEL:  THEY'RE MUTTS FROM THE SHELTER.
CONAN: YOU RESCUE THEM, THAT'S TERRIFIC.
THAT'S GREAT.
GOOD FOR YOU.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL:  THEY BURY THINGS.
THEY TRY TO BURY THINGS.
THEY PHANTOM DIG, THOUGH.
THEY'LL PHANTOM DIG IN THE BED THINKING THERE'S DIRT THERE BUT THERE'S NOTHING HAPPENING.
CONAN: THAT MEANS THEY'VE GONE UNSANE.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL:  THEY'RE LIKE LITTLE MIMES, BURY THE FAKE BONE.
CONAN: THEN THEY DO THIS.
THEN THEY WALK AGAINST THE WIND.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL:  THEY'RE SO CUTE, YEAH.
THEY FOLLOW ME AROUND EVERYWHERE, YOU KNOW.
THEY LIKE ME.
CONAN: ARE THEY HERE NOW?
DO THEY EVER FOLLOW YOU IN A CAR?
ZOOEY DESCHANEL:  YEAH, THEY DO.
CONAN: THAT'S WHY YOU'RE PARANOID.
WE JUST FIGURED OUT WHY.
YOU'VE GOT DOGS FOLLOWING YOU.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL:  I DID ACTUALLY TAKE PICTURES OF THEM THE OTHER DAY, THEY WERE OUTSIDE LOOKING AT ME THROUGH THE DOOR LIKE, JUST SITTING THERE, LIKE LOOKING AT ME AND I WAS LIKE, THEY'RE STALKING ME.
CONAN: AND SOMETIMES YOU GET A PHONE CALL AND THAT'S COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE.